HWYLRYN ✴

[calamitish]

Comments

cw: reference to suicide attempt

[coldseep]

Well, I'd have to be. I was trying to remove myself from the cycle of love right before I was brought here.

( pretty way to say "provoking his friend into murdering him because hwy thought it would be too pathetic to take himself out" but it is what it is, and hwy knows it.

Doing it himself or making someone else pull the trigger doesn't change what it is, or that he's a pitiful thing. His twin and Balthazar would scoff at him, he knows. )

If it isn't because they've hurt you, what do you think they've done that would warrant their deaths?

( Ish already said that's not his motive or purpose with all this, and if that's true, Hwy's really just curious. )

[calamitish]

[ he hums at that, but focuses on the question for now. ]

What else is there? Hurt someone I love.

[ he can say the l word, everyone clap!!!!

well, in this instance. it's special, or rather, he's picky on how he says it and how it should apply to him. ]

[coldseep]

( As someone who spent so many thousands of years holding onto a grudge against the people who killed a beloved and finally executed that revenge... yeah, fair enough. )

Then what's stopping you from acting on that feeling?

[calamitish]

Who's said I stopped? Because I haven't killed anyone here? There's pointless slaughter and then there's having your cake and eating it too.

[coldseep]

Ah, is that why you don't do it yourself?

( Hwy seems as he always does, but the effects in the air about him shift - it shimmers, like heat over asphalt. It's tension.

It's not mad, exactly, but it's taut. He's thinking of Tiamat. It's hard on the heart. )

Has it been satisfying?

[calamitish]

I prefer to watch and observe, it's what I was made for. But I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty and it's cute that some people think that.

[ he has been Listening. as host, he is unfortunately immune to weathervanes of his mood, but his expressions as they tend to be, are as striking and bright as lightning itself. ]

Of course! Why wouldn't it be? Why would I feel remorse or regret?

[coldseep]

( He shrugs, leaning back on chair. )

You said it, not me.

( "Made for," huh... )

You can't make much in the way of connections, can you? And to put on the same song and dance week after week requires a specific sort of passion.

( Some wizards can do it! But only if that's their specific wizard obsession. He doesn't know if that's Ish's. )

Was this a duty your goddess assigned you?

[calamitish]

[ his smile drops. ]

No. [ sorry he's sir ignoring everything else for different reasons than usual. ]

[coldseep]

( if only he were a strong-hearted otome heroine who would smack him into answering... alas, he is but a hwy )

Would she approve of this?

[calamitish]

[ again, a one word answer: ]

No.

[coldseep]

( Hoh. )

Is the end result of this that important to you?

[calamitish]

I'll give you this one because it's basically a gimme, but those answers are worth way more than a pear and a cup of spirits.

Yes.

[coldseep]

I figured.

( Yes it was a gimme, but as Ish has probably realized, Hwylryn is not particularly efficient - he is conversational.

And this is a conversation, of sorts. )

I did have something I wanted to trade for.

[calamitish]

Oh? Then go ahead.

[ he drops the curtness and adopts his previous cadence like donning a glove. ]

[coldseep]

There's someone from my home. Akira. I just wanted to know he hasn't been pulled in to participate. And that he won't be.

( guy who wants to escape the cycle of love has resigned to the fact that he's still stuck in it until he's released from life's grip )

[calamitish]

And what do I get? No turning the question back on me, either.

[coldseep]

Oh? And here I'd thought you'd set the terms. You're the one with all the power, and we don't have much to trade, right?

[calamitish]

There's really not much I want on a concrete scale, aside from what I'm already working towards. Are their things I like? Sure. But commanding people what to do is boring. It's far more interesting to see what they'll do of their own accord when they're not worried about what anyone thinks of them, or when they're willing to put forward part of themselves in pursuit of desire.

[ did you miss him being wordy. ]

[coldseep]

( making up for his lack of word count in those three one word tags )

You know, you're pretty fun to talk to.

( He figured that might have been it, but - here we are, conversational. It took him however many comments to bring up the trade, and he's not about to improve his pace. )

Mmmm . . .

( He considers this for a moment, combing through what he has, and what he can let go.

Finally, he sets down his glass and brings up his wrist with the bracelet. He taps the gemstone. )

This can still be ground into poison, right?

( He's not trading this but he'll be able to contextualize it better if he has a sense of whether it still has its non-magical properties or not. )

[calamitish]

[ tilting his head. he assumes that hwylyrn already knows he wouldn't want a bracelet, so he continues. ]

I assume so. I'm not any kind of healer in the proper sense of the word, but your clothes came with you as is. [ accessories are part of an outfit, it is written. ]

[coldseep]

( sick that saves him having to test it on someone )

It came in a pair. This gemstone kills, but its twin heals. Me and . . . ( he falters, briefly - and that air turns into a mist, a prelude to rain, ) . . . me and my twin, we both had a matching set. They were stones just for us.

( The weather lingers, then seems to clear... barely. His backdrop remains misty. )

... I gave the stone that heals to a witch named Melissa, a long time ago. She was lovely, and passionate. She wanted to sail to the ends of the world, beyond the spirits' end. She was much braver than me. And so . . . I gave her this memento, though it linked me to my twin.

For Akira's history here, and his safety, let me trade you my recollection of Melissa. I won't know why I'm missing half of what remains to connect me to my other half, and I won't recall a witch that I loved, who affected and inspired me. I won't know when I lost it, simply that it's gone.

How does that sound?

[calamitish]

[ ... ]

Are you offering me this because you think it's a fair price to pay? Or are you offering it to me because you think I don't know what love is?

[ his gaze is sterner, but this time he actually will elaborate. ]

Or rather...because you think I've experienced it and it's hurt me in ways that I'm not capable of comprehending or articulating? I'm not something or someone to be pitied, who doesn't know any better and is lashing out against the worlds in anger or misunderstanding. I'm not a child, even if I am the youngest attendant.

I am who I am because I would do anything for her, anything and everything she needs even if she never realizes it herself. Because humans are the one who betrayed us and even if she forgives, it doesn't mean I have to.

Love can't hurt me, because the only I've ever loved is her. And she could hate me, kill me, rewrite my existence, and I wouldn't feel a single ounce of pain.

[coldseep]

( Ohhh this is about his goddess, isn't it... He tucks away this lore.

Hwy listens, with interest. The mist dissipates as Ish speaks, leaving Hwy at a neutral - nothing in particular projected. It seems to him that Ish has a lot in his heart - and, possibly, no one to talk to about it. And if what he said as Witch was right, then he may not have seen this goddess, this love, this madonna, for awhile, either... because of what humans have done.

But he's met a lot of people like this - people who are so wrapped up in their own hearts they cannot see the things beyond it. It isolates them.

For all Ish claims to be more than a child, his refutation sounds, to Hwylryn, at his age, like the calls of a sad one. )

Ish. Witch of Ruin, and our host, and devotee of his Goddess— Ish.

Our relationship with love is very different.

I offered you my price with the motive of equity. You know quite a bit about me - possibly, because I've shared it all and I cannot recall. Lying to you would be silly, right?

I love Akira. I love my brother. I love Melissa. These are all things that are true to me.

( And not all his loves are equal, no. This is why he offered to trade Melissa for Akira, and not his twin for Akira.

This is why he offered to trade Melissa, and not the recollection of even the bracelets.

It is his love of Gwawlyn that is lynchpin and foundational. If there is a love that overwhelms him, it is for him and him alone.

Akira is not worth that. He will only trade Melissa for this. )

I won't tell you that I'm sorry what happened to you, because you have found a way to get on. Right? You resent them, and so you carry on in this way. You love her, so you carry on as you do. Tragedy happens, and it has.

I am mired in my own tragedies of love. It sounds to me you aren't.

And so, I am happy for you.

But it means we're not alike. And I'm not like these other voices you address, who deride you and pity you.

I am only Hwylryn, and I'm balancing my own loves on a scale, as much as it may hurt. I like learning more of you, but when it comes to these matters of business... Please understand, I have my hands full thinking of myself.

[calamitish]

[ (. . . ) ]

...fine, then we can make a deal. But I don't want your memories of Melissa. [ he was about to accept them before, but- ]

You said you have interest in me, and that it's just because you do, but that's not a satisfactory enough answer. I'll admit I understand your emotions less because I've spent more time with humans than any other species.

So I'll trade you the knowledge you seek, but in return you need to trade me the knowledge I seek, until I'm satisfied. Do we have a deal?

[ setting down his own cup to hold out his right hand, the one stained bright red. ]

[coldseep]

( You know, accepting an open-ended deal like that is a terrible idea... but, he considers this - and on the hierarchy of things to offer, he feels there are worse things. )

Unlimited knowledge in exchange for limited knowledge, huh? I'm gonna have a rough time if I need anything else.

( but hey!

He reaches out his hand, and takes the bright red one. )