( Hwylryn is selfish enough to enjoy the privilege!! Yes, no one else gets this (maybe. he hopes, secretly). Yes, he thinks there are others who need this - deserve this - and you know what, if he were a better person, a more principled person, he'd be focused on their predicament, and the people he loves who want out, desperately.
But if he did that, he couldn't also have this. And that is the crux of his problem: liking too much, liking too many, and wanting his cake and to eat it too. No wonder his loves come to blows, in the end, when he can't help but like both sides without restraint.
The photo thing still hurts, a lot. And it's maybe something, like all the other things in this carnival, he objectively shouldn't forgive. He does think... maybe, there's still something talk about there. But he's just not someone who can carry these things - that he's been forced to carry grief has been enough to madden him. It is against his nature; he, who flows as the river, the muck dispersed, the water murmuring, I'll forgive you, so let's play again, as he had with Snow and White, every time. )
... Have you ever taken up anyone else like this?
( The shyness is sweet. He leans against Ish, head on his shoulder and hands clasped tight, in this little space that's just the two of them. )
[ he murmurs agreement; again, fun isn't what he'd call it but the sentiment is close enough. for all that the photo booths were and for all he hasn't spoken of an apology, the way he looks at hwylryn is exactly the same as he did wednesday. ]
No, I've never. And I never will. I'll only take you. [ even if it's cheating. even if the past day has made him realize he probably shouldn't have found his way here in the first place. but-
the wind jingles his earrings, now plural, and they catch in the moonlight. he has more he should probably say, but instead, he dips down to press a kiss against silver strands that are brighter to him than the moon.
( When was the last time someone offered something to him, and him alone?
It's okay that people don't. It's fine. He's too old, at this point, to really mind - to fail to understand that people are complex, and they have a scale of needs and priorities, and that they can't just give him, and only him, something; that they can't just think of him the most, that they have - other things - other people, just as important, or moreso. And if he understands someone, he can't really hate them (he can only find things about them that he likes, and that's where the trouble begins).
So it flushes his cheeks in a way he doesn't expect when Ish says this thing and presses a kiss to his head and it's tied with the ribbon of an apology. It makes him happy in a way he hasn't known in a long time. And somewhere in the wind and the stars and moonlight, somewhere in the new sound of two earrings, he wonders, maybe, if... )
... What comes after everything? ( This would be a great segue into plot. But put a pin in that because Hwylryn's brain isn't even there right now. ) After all of this ends...
( The carnival, the trials, the spell— Ish is the one who's mentioned forever, never, always. So he can ask, right? He told Junior he'd look around, anyway. He'd already said he'd try to live. Right? So, so,
He looks up at Ish as if he were a part of all the sky from where his head rests, his gaze not necessarily shy, but - wondering, maybe. A little hesitant. A little excited. )
[ oh—his eyes catch on the silver, the dust of red like a rose bloomed under the moonlight only for him. the way hwylyrn looks in his jacket (this one is solely his fault), the way hwylyrn looks up at him with a mix of emotions he didn't expect to see. he can feel them even if he's not trying, as close as they are.
he doesn't know what comes after all of this ends because the end of it is something he's only caught sight of extremely recently (he thinks, he thinks, he's had so much to think about this week).
there's norna and—the thought of her is hard to place. she is everything, she will always be everything. just the thought of her makes his heart beat faster like it always does. but there's something else in it this time, a soft new sound that he recognizes because of what he is. he's too afraid to name it yet.
he pulls them closer and if he were in serpent form he wouldn't stop until he filled in every crevice, every space until they were one sea reflecting the starry sky above.
he wants to ask "are you sure?", "why?", but he doesn't need to, he hasn't needed to since their exchange in the grotto. a stupid, impulsive thing, maybe even a little spiteful back then.
times a funny thing, he thinks for the Nth time this week. back then it was "for now" and that now is also here and—]
I'm not sure yet. [ what's after, it's all changing so quickly. ]
But you can come with me, I'd like that. A lot.
[ it's a dangerous, dangerous thing, but one he can't deny. even if he wanted to. everything feels like liquid and he's not sure if he's drowning but he smiles anyway. ]
( Ah, he was right, he was right - and is there any feeling more wonderful than knowing your hearts have aligned? )
Then we can find out.
( We, together. For someone who was going to die in the space beyond, the uncertainty isn't so scary - for someone who is an expression of impulse and feeling, he doesn't think too careful about what this means for taking Junior with him. There is simply a warmth in his body that fills him with every rapid heartbeat, as if it were an opened valve - and if he drowns in that, so be it. If he drowns in that, he'll see that he drags down his loves with him.
Maybe someone consumed with grief twice over shouldn't be making such precarious calls with a third love that's had a rapid onset, but - ah, he cannot help what he is. He cannot help but sink deeper and deeper, unable to change his nature, unable to escape that he is a thing full of instinct and love.
He reaches up with his other hand, catching Ish's cheek and pressing a kiss to his lips - long beneath the moonlight and stars, but very, very sweet. )
[ despite all his meaningful gestures, his affections and the way he's looked at hwylryn tonight—he was waiting for something else. surely hwylryn would have been mad at him, yelled at him or given him the cold shoulder or worse. ish is cruel, he really, really, is but he's also a creature of love. that came first before everything else he's become.
he's wanted to kiss him properly but hasn't felt like he's deserved it, and so when hwylryn takes the initiative something blossoms in his chest. he won't pull back first this time even if he should have, but he doesn't drown even if he's breathless and even if they definitely dipped just a little in their levitation from his complete lack of focus. ]
I do. What kind of music shall we dance to? [ one hand moves to hwylryn's back, the other clasping their hands together. he was quite practiced at dancing once and his time here has dusted off his skills so they shine again. ]
( He smiles bright, not at all a formal dancer, but he's picked up enough over the years that he can follow once Ish takes position. If there's anything the spirits of nature adore, it's passion, music, and dance.
He clasps Ish's hand in his, the other at the crook of his neck - maybe not precisely the right place - but it means he can stroke him fondly before moving his hand a little further down the shoulder. Ish's hands there mean he should take up a stance around here, right? Close enough! Fun enough! They'll figure it out, turn by turn. )
Right now I'm happy, so I want something that matches the beat of my heart.
( He's refined enough to slow dance, but right now, does that feel right? He thinks they're both in an improved mood, so why not celebrate it? )
I don't have one yet. [ yet, it'll probably be whatever they dance to here because he's sunk. ]
Hmmm... maybe something like this? [ i am mobile so save me from proper form for this, but an energetic, bouncy song for a foxtrot filters through the night. he is not from a world with the tango or salsa, so this is the best he can do. ]
( Given he's from a high fantasy setting, a foxtrot probably sounds modern and novel to his ear - Hwylryn listens along for a few moments, then smiles bright. He likes the sound, but, more importantly, he likes that Ish picked it. )
It's perfect. ( It's perfect because it's them, and what more does it need? ) Is there a particular way you dance to it?
( Not that he needs one, but he's curious to know! )
It starts like a waltz, but it has fast movements to it. Slow-slow-quick-quick steps that build off each other.
[ much like how their interactions have gone, really. things were slow until they suddenly were Not and now they're here, moving too fast by any definition of the phrase but.
isn't that just them too?
accompanying tune that's perfect (I take no credit except ish's ability to make this IC reality). ]
( Hwylryn is definitely a loose dancer - he's not worried about every step, but he's good at following Ish's lead and the rhythm, and he, above all, is having a lot of fun.
then ish ATTACKA HIM!!! It's uncharacteristic for Hwylryn to flush in surprise like this, so Ish can consider this a job well done. )
... Maybe I just look a little better tonight thanks to my handsome company.
( Normally, he'd say "I know"!! Or he'd have a smoother response!! But it feels a little different when it's Ish saying it... )
It must be, because I look like a mess.
( It's been hours since he was in that room, but he's sure his eyes must still be a little red, and he didn't go for a dip, so he's sure he doesn't look his best.
But it doesn't make him any less happy that Ish thinks so (he thinks so???) (something about when it's someone you care for saying it that makes any compliment that much more weighty)... )
Maybe that's part of it, but only a little. [ in contrast to how easily he usually flusters, ish is able to take the compliment with a soft smile. as much as it does tickle at his heart, he's more concerned with how hwylyrn feels to be put on the backfoot himself. ]
Even if I said you were—doesn't chaos exude a natural allure in it's own right? Isn't the natural beauty of emotions and feelings more than practiced smiles and countenances made to fit into an orderly box? [ leading into a turn with a flourish, the beat of his heart and the music their guide. ]
I think you always look beautiful. Though I like it when you're happy the most.
( Oh, Ish is smooth right now, huh? It's strange for him, but fun, too - to be outpaced, for once, for however briefly this lasts.
He follows the steps, faltered for a moment but making up for it with improved allegro; and when there comes a step that allows him to dip close, he does - and spots Ish a little kiss, before the song might ask them to pull away. )
... Then, you must be in luck. Because you're really good at making me really happy.
( Though this comes just a turn after he'd complained of being a mess - for reasons that are, apparently, Ish's devices - it's still sincere. He can't help that he can exist so divorced of context, sometimes. It's hard not to like Ish when he's indulging in this whim to dance through the starry sky; when he keeps his heart company, when he finds his rhythm and colors Hwylryn's cheeks with compliments as easy as the steps of this dance. )
( Ah... his fingers curl around Ish's hand in his, as if he could grasp his heart exactly that gently. )
I know. I trust you. ( Gently, and earnest. ) ... And as much as it pains me that you go, I'd rather that you move as you please.
( So the wind blows, and the river flows. Hwylryn is this, and so he would want it for Ish. )
And that gives us time to anticipate returning to one another, right? I like being with you . . . but thinking about you has been sweet, too. And now I can think about the things we might do in the future.
( However nebulous . . . if there exists one constant - that they would be enough - is that not enough to wheel the infinite realm of excitement and imagination? Isn't that more than enough? )
[ he smiles, satisfied in the trust given to him. it's a really funny gift to receive considering their circumstances but he's confident that this is the truth for both of them. somehow. ]
It does. What kind of things have you been thinking about?
[ by this point they've been falling for several seconds. it's fortunate that they've danced their way further into the gardens by the hedge maze, if nothing else. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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( Hwylryn is selfish enough to enjoy the privilege!! Yes, no one else gets this (maybe. he hopes, secretly). Yes, he thinks there are others who need this - deserve this - and you know what, if he were a better person, a more principled person, he'd be focused on their predicament, and the people he loves who want out, desperately.
But if he did that, he couldn't also have this. And that is the crux of his problem: liking too much, liking too many, and wanting his cake and to eat it too. No wonder his loves come to blows, in the end, when he can't help but like both sides without restraint.
The photo thing still hurts, a lot. And it's maybe something, like all the other things in this carnival, he objectively shouldn't forgive. He does think... maybe, there's still something talk about there. But he's just not someone who can carry these things - that he's been forced to carry grief has been enough to madden him. It is against his nature; he, who flows as the river, the muck dispersed, the water murmuring, I'll forgive you, so let's play again, as he had with Snow and White, every time. )
... Have you ever taken up anyone else like this?
( The shyness is sweet. He leans against Ish, head on his shoulder and hands clasped tight, in this little space that's just the two of them. )
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No, I've never. And I never will. I'll only take you. [ even if it's cheating. even if the past day has made him realize he probably shouldn't have found his way here in the first place. but-
the wind jingles his earrings, now plural, and they catch in the moonlight. he has more he should probably say, but instead, he dips down to press a kiss against silver strands that are brighter to him than the moon.
"sorry." ]
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It's okay that people don't. It's fine. He's too old, at this point, to really mind - to fail to understand that people are complex, and they have a scale of needs and priorities, and that they can't just give him, and only him, something; that they can't just think of him the most, that they have - other things - other people, just as important, or moreso. And if he understands someone, he can't really hate them (he can only find things about them that he likes, and that's where the trouble begins).
So it flushes his cheeks in a way he doesn't expect when Ish says this thing and presses a kiss to his head and it's tied with the ribbon of an apology. It makes him happy in a way he hasn't known in a long time. And somewhere in the wind and the stars and moonlight, somewhere in the new sound of two earrings, he wonders, maybe, if... )
... What comes after everything? ( This would be a great segue into plot. But put a pin in that because Hwylryn's brain isn't even there right now. ) After all of this ends...
( The carnival, the trials, the spell— Ish is the one who's mentioned forever, never, always. So he can ask, right? He told Junior he'd look around, anyway. He'd already said he'd try to live. Right? So, so,
He looks up at Ish as if he were a part of all the sky from where his head rests, his gaze not necessarily shy, but - wondering, maybe. A little hesitant. A little excited. )
... Could I stay behind with you?
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he doesn't know what comes after all of this ends because the end of it is something he's only caught sight of extremely recently (he thinks, he thinks, he's had so much to think about this week).
there's norna and—the thought of her is hard to place. she is everything, she will always be everything. just the thought of her makes his heart beat faster like it always does. but there's something else in it this time, a soft new sound that he recognizes because of what he is. he's too afraid to name it yet.
he pulls them closer and if he were in serpent form he wouldn't stop until he filled in every crevice, every space until they were one sea reflecting the starry sky above.
he wants to ask "are you sure?", "why?", but he doesn't need to, he hasn't needed to since their exchange in the grotto. a stupid, impulsive thing, maybe even a little spiteful back then.
times a funny thing, he thinks for the Nth time this week. back then it was "for now" and that now is also here and—]
I'm not sure yet. [ what's after, it's all changing so quickly. ]
But you can come with me, I'd like that. A lot.
[ it's a dangerous, dangerous thing, but one he can't deny. even if he wanted to. everything feels like liquid and he's not sure if he's drowning but he smiles anyway. ]
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Then we can find out.
( We, together. For someone who was going to die in the
space beyond, the uncertainty isn't so scary - for someone who is an expression of impulse and feeling, he doesn't think too careful about what this means for taking Junior with him. There is simply a warmth in his body that fills him with every rapid heartbeat, as if it were an opened valve - and if he drowns in that, so be it. If he drowns in that, he'll see that he drags down his loves with him.
Maybe someone consumed with grief twice over shouldn't be making such precarious calls with a third love that's had a rapid onset, but - ah, he cannot help what he is. He cannot help but sink deeper and deeper, unable to change his nature, unable to escape that he is a thing full of instinct and love.
He reaches up with his other hand, catching Ish's cheek and pressing a kiss to his lips - long beneath the moonlight and stars, but very, very sweet. )
Do you want to dance?
( Up here, in the sky! )
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he's wanted to kiss him properly but hasn't felt like he's deserved it, and so when hwylryn takes the initiative something blossoms in his chest. he won't pull back first this time even if he should have, but he doesn't drown even if he's breathless and even if they definitely dipped just a little in their levitation from his complete lack of focus. ]
I do. What kind of music shall we dance to? [ one hand moves to hwylryn's back, the other clasping their hands together. he was quite practiced at dancing once and his time here has dusted off his skills so they shine again. ]
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( He smiles bright, not at all a formal dancer, but he's picked up enough over the years that he can follow once Ish takes position. If there's anything the spirits of nature adore, it's passion, music, and dance.
He clasps Ish's hand in his, the other at the crook of his neck
- maybe not precisely the right place - but it means he can stroke him fondly before moving his hand a little further down the shoulder. Ish's hands there mean he should take up a stance around here, right? Close enough! Fun enough! They'll figure it out, turn by turn. )
Right now I'm happy, so I want something that matches the beat of my heart.
( He's refined enough to slow dance, but right now, does that feel right? He thinks they're both in an improved mood, so why not celebrate it? )
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Hmmm... maybe something like this? [ i am mobile so save me from proper form for this, but an energetic, bouncy song for a foxtrot filters through the night. he is not from a world with the tango or salsa, so this is the best he can do. ]
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It's perfect. ( It's perfect because it's them, and what more does it need? ) Is there a particular way you dance to it?
( Not that he needs one, but he's curious to know! )
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[ much like how their interactions have gone, really. things were slow until they suddenly were Not and now they're here, moving too fast by any definition of the phrase but.
isn't that just them too?
accompanying tune that's perfect (I take no credit except ish's ability to make this IC reality). ]
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Lead me? I've never done a waltz before either, but you can count on me to learn pretty quick.
( Especially for someone who doesn't usually have legs like these. )
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though after not too long— ]
You're beautiful, Hwylryn.
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then ish ATTACKA HIM!!! It's uncharacteristic for Hwylryn to flush in surprise like this, so Ish can consider this a job well done. )
... Maybe I just look a little better tonight thanks to my handsome company.
( Normally, he'd say "I know"!! Or he'd have a smoother response!! But it feels a little different when it's Ish saying it... )
It must be, because I look like a mess.
( It's been hours since he was in that room, but he's sure his eyes must still be a little red, and he didn't go for a dip, so he's sure he doesn't look his best.
But it doesn't make him any less happy that Ish thinks so (he thinks so???) (something about when it's someone you care for saying it that makes any compliment that much more weighty)... )
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Even if I said you were—doesn't chaos exude a natural allure in it's own right? Isn't the natural beauty of emotions and feelings more than practiced smiles and countenances made to fit into an orderly box? [ leading into a turn with a flourish, the beat of his heart and the music their guide. ]
I think you always look beautiful. Though I like it when you're happy the most.
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He follows the steps, faltered for a moment but making up for it with improved allegro; and when there comes a step that allows him to dip close, he does - and spots Ish a little kiss, before the song might ask them to pull away. )
... Then, you must be in luck. Because you're really good at making me really happy.
( Though this comes just a turn after he'd complained of being a mess - for reasons that are, apparently, Ish's devices - it's still sincere. He can't help that he can exist so divorced of context, sometimes. It's hard not to like Ish when he's indulging in this whim to dance through the starry sky; when he keeps his heart company, when he finds his rhythm and colors Hwylryn's cheeks with compliments as easy as the steps of this dance. )
And I always miss you when you have to leave.
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But I come back don't I? I won't break my word to you.
There's somethings I won't lie about, but beyond that...I'd feel the pain of it—here. [ he guides their clasped hands to his chest, his heart. ]
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I know. I trust you. ( Gently, and earnest. ) ... And as much as it pains me that you go, I'd rather that you move as you please.
( So the wind blows, and the river flows. Hwylryn is this, and so he would want it for Ish. )
And that gives us time to anticipate returning to one another, right? I like being with you . . . but thinking about you has been sweet, too. And now I can think about the things we might do in the future.
( However nebulous . . . if there exists one constant - that they would be enough - is that not enough to wheel the infinite realm of excitement and imagination? Isn't that more than enough? )
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It does. What kind of things have you been thinking about?
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Well, we have a child already, so why don't we start with somewhere for all of us to live?
/idk
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...
well if hwy has a child that ish doesn't know about, that's odd but he is a dragon so- ]
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ]
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allwevedoneiskiss?andholdhands?andembraceoneanotherand—
[ the image of how he was born cuts clearly into his mind.
norna married a snake and their embrace produced him. ]
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So we definitely skipped a step or at least two—
[ by this point they've been falling for several seconds. it's fortunate that they've danced their way further into the gardens by the hedge maze, if nothing else. ]
/done
[ whatever else ish has to say is promptly muffled by leaves.
he does however, literally support hwy when they fall, stopped not by his magic but the reality of gravity and scratchy twigs and leaves. ]
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