Well, I won't say sleeping in this form for so long is the most comfortable...
( god please let him be a dragon again even a small one will do
Unfortunately, he has too much pride to ask it like that so he'll just suffer, )
... But I can't exactly get you to rest beside me under normal circumstances, can I? And if I don't see you, how will I be sure you won't round out to year 2000 of not sleeping?
Why's it matter if I set a new universal record for not sleeping? And how did you get involved!? If you're sleeping too you won't be able to see that I am so that doesn't make any sense!
( This whole proposal was out of real concern, so he wasn't trying to get a reaction out of Ish... which means getting all this as a freebie is sooooo fun... serotonin just a little bit real... )
Don't underestimate me. I can tell if someone gets up when we fell asleep beside each other. ( Getting up for water? Not so when you're in bed with a clingy dragon. ) And isn't it more appealing to do things with someone else than to do it alone? At the very least, now you can say you're just doing it for me.
( Instead of shrugging it off because you've decided you don't need it. )
... And... it would make me happy.
( And wasn't that the point of these wishes, once upon a time. )
[ he opens his mouth, having a retort for all of that until hwylyrn unfairly drops the last bit like a dagger to his heart. which he does have, even if it's a twisted black thing by now.
(...) ]
Fine. [ quietly, softly. ]
Next week, I have too much to do before then.
[ his mysterious Sundays which will include dying this time. he's also looking anywhere else but in hwylryn's direction, thank you. ]
( He figured there was a good chance Ish would turn him down, but that didn't mean it wasn't worth trying.
And it makes it that much more exciting when Ish concedes - but he does not miss how Ish looks aside, and how he seems preoccupied with his plans. But - isn't he always, a little bit? He's always scurrying in and out, doing something of import.
Hwylryn, despite his demeanor, has been skeptical of Ish and his motives the past two weeks (likely longer, in those repetitions he can't recall). But he thinks he's coming to see the seams where truth and deceit meet, and pull them apart - even if he may not know the true form of the thing beneath it, yet. )
... Okay. Thank you.
( He shifts his balance, just enough to raise both hands above so they're halfway between them. Offering them for Ish to take, for no particular reason, except that he wants to. )
... Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
[ he is distracted in several ways, ways that rub up all against each other. there's no "you're welcome", but he does take hwylryn's hands after a beat. ]
( Hwylryn didn't expect the laughter, so it earns Ish a slight grin. His heart is open to infection - laughter. )
He can't help it. He's young, he's of that Central temperament... Just throw me a bone if my history gets used against me in a trial somehow, okay?
( A real request, or a joke? Hard to say. He moves on.
He was upset with Cain for announcing it before an audience at that time, but it is what it is. In the hierarchy of his troubles, it's rather small - though he maintains concern over how some may suspect him of murder much more easily now. (Not that he's not capable, but, you know. Control of information.)
Regardless, he has an impulse to tease Ish for finding the information equivalent, but - though Hwylryn may not know it - it's because he feels flattered. He's prideful, yes; he sees himself as impressive, as a dragon - but he doesn't think those reasons are why Ish inquired, and so. And so...
But he bites the impulse back. He doesn't really want to make Ish fluster or withdraw, this time around. )
I guess we didn't get to know each other in the previous repetitions. ( "I guess," he says, but, given his feelings during week one... And those feelings may not have fully changed; just grown more complex. ) You could have asked me, too.
The previous repetitions were different. I prefer to work in the shadows, you know. I didn't make myself available to everyone like I've done this time.
[ he's rather cautious actually, something hwylryn has probably started to pick up on despite his bombastic nature. ]
I know, I know. But there really wasn't anything else he could offer me. I don't make deals just because.
( He'll give Ish that he had nothing else he wanted - but that he cared for it enough... Well, maybe he should think of it as - he's glad he's interesting to Ish, too.
As for the truth, he considers this. )
Mmm... Maybe I'm curious if you like his version of me more or less than the version of myself I've shown.
( Hwylryn can present what he likes, but, at the end of the day, he still leaves himself open to interpretation. Much of what he tells other people of himself are rumors - "it's said that..." and "legends say that..."
Maybe because much of himself has been lost to the years, and all he has left is the crevice Gwawlyn has split open in his heart, his love, and these stories people know. )
It was a matter of necessity. To profit, you need to engage in risk.
[ he smiles. ]
I'd be an idiot to only take him at his word. Everyone tells a story a different way, regardless of their intentions, and knights like him—I'm familiar enough with them, though the one I was most familiar with was considerably more suave.
[ this is a compliment to cain if anything. ]
Either way—everything that you are, and I'm sure I haven't seen all of it: your whimsy, folly, your free spirit, I still don't understand them. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. Something like that, someone like that, really can't be described by someone else. It's something to be witnessed with your own eyes.
There's no way I'd like his version better. It's not complete and it never will be.
( His feelings toward Ish are complicated. Ish has set up this little game for his own selfish ends
- and they are selfish! even if it's to the end that hwylryn suspects, it's selfish! and he knows it and he looks it in the eye because he's selfish, himself! -
and Ish has placed them in this circumstance where he is losing people at a rate that, to him, feels like there's a friend gone every minute, and more will be taken from him soon.
(and does this address all those he'd lost already, but cannot recall? his heart aches for that, too.)
His heart had already shattered, before he'd come - and now he's dragging the sharp edges of himself through routine just to make it to the end, for when he'll be released, and allowed to rest.
It is cruel.
But he has lived too long (maybe too long) to divide this world into things he likes and dislikes. He has all the quizzical confusion of a Northern heart, and all the zest and intrigue of a Western spirit. He has needled at Ish idly until he got caught on a hook, and became curious - something small that began a shift from this is our host, and he is cruel, and he is capricious, and there is nothing to be done about it to this is our host, and he is cruel, and he is these other things, and i wonder why, and i like that i don't know. And in all his years he has pursued interest in others, very rare is it that these people have turned their gaze back to him.
Even if it is only idle curiosity, because he is novel to Ish. Even if Ish may not be the first to meet his gaze. He is the first person like Ish is who has.
And though he is hurt - hurting - he likes that. His heart moves too easily. He cannot help what he likes. Despite his grief, and despite his loss, he is - simple. He likes what he likes, and he is what he is. The only reason he's begun to collapse beneath his own weight is because reality does not allow for it. )
... Then I hope you enjoy what you see, as you watch. ( saying this despite knowing ish is a westie who likes pain and suffering. sighs. (not entirely neg). ) For as long as I stay around.
( ... Because he may die. Will die, surely. Whether by someone's hand, or when he is returned home, to battle...
But such as it is. Even a thousand lifetimes isn't enough to finish knowing another person. He likes the idea of this being something incomplete - without punctuation; a empty pages, meant for continuation. Ones that may never be filled. )
... But I guess I don't mind being an unfinished story for you to puzzle over, either. Please stay alive long enough to remember me.
You're not boring, Hwylryn. I'm something born from pure emotions, something impure from the start. I watch, but I'm not passive. I'll sit in the audience and then move into the stage.
I'll tell you a secret— [ it is and isn't one, because he's said it before in not so many words, as he tends to do. ]
If I die, I'll just come back. Promise.
[ he says this with all of the weight of the sins he's committed and all of the levity of someone who's thrown away everything he was, until just the bones and a scarred heart were left.
they're still holding hands aren't they? he's aware of that in the moment for a different reason than he usually is, and it is for that one that he squeezes them together, gently. a punctuation not loud, but quiet. ]
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no subject
Considering you said you'd take matters into your own hands, I'm guessing it doesn't involve your brother. [ not at this exact moment anyway. ]
Ohhh, did you want another body of water? I can't imagine you want more torta de coco so soon.
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He won't deny those are desires he has, but: )
Should I give you a hint?
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[ he is in a Good Mood, trial went terribly!
also as mentioned, hwy is a dragon, so this is not a failure on his part. ]
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Just think of it as a game.
( Pride is serious! )
Well, it's an activity two people can do...
( For once, he's not even thinking of how that sounds,
also for bookkeeping his heart definitely seized when ish mentioned his brother in the context of wishes, but hwy talked past it, )
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Hmm.... [ it's okay ish didn't notice either. ] well I don't swim, at least not in this form.
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wait don't get distracted )
Next time, you have to join me as a fish. But only if I get to be aquatic, too.
( A miniature dragon, please, let him swim, he's on his fins and knees, )
Okay, let's see... It's something Primrose does every night...
( he doesn't know if Ish looks but he guesses he'll find out (they just go to bed no parties in there) (except thursdays apparently) )
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[ okay, back to Thinking... ]
Gossip?
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Okay but that guess makes him laugh just a little bit. Hasn't really laughed since end of trial. )
Uh-huh, definitely that. But once we're gossiped and washed up, we get under the covers and we...
( :)......? )
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Why do you need a wish to sleep? You don't strike me as the type to get insomnia. [ —or maybe he is. ]
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( god please let him be a dragon again even a small one will do
Unfortunately, he has too much pride to ask it like that so he'll just suffer, )
... But I can't exactly get you to rest beside me under normal circumstances, can I? And if I don't see you, how will I be sure you won't round out to year 2000 of not sleeping?
/3 i think
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Don't underestimate me. I can tell if someone gets up when we fell asleep beside each other. ( Getting up for water? Not so when you're in bed with a clingy dragon. ) And isn't it more appealing to do things with someone else than to do it alone? At the very least, now you can say you're just doing it for me.
( Instead of shrugging it off because you've decided you don't need it. )
... And... it would make me happy.
( And wasn't that the point of these wishes, once upon a time. )
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(...) ]
Fine. [ quietly, softly. ]
Next week, I have too much to do before then.
[ his mysterious Sundays which will include dying this time. he's also looking anywhere else but in hwylryn's direction, thank you. ]
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And it makes it that much more exciting when Ish concedes - but he does not miss how Ish looks aside, and how he seems preoccupied with his plans. But - isn't he always, a little bit? He's always scurrying in and out, doing something of import.
Hwylryn, despite his demeanor, has been skeptical of Ish and his motives the past two weeks (likely longer, in those repetitions he can't recall). But he thinks he's coming to see the seams where truth and deceit meet, and pull them apart - even if he may not know the true form of the thing beneath it, yet. )
... Okay. Thank you.
( He shifts his balance, just enough to raise both hands above so they're halfway between them. Offering them for Ish to take, for no particular reason, except that he wants to. )
... Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
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Huh? What is it?
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... Was learning information about me worth revealing information about you?
( Worth it to Ish, he means - inquiring about Ish's trade with Cain for his plaque. )
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Do you really think I would have agreed to a trade I didn't think was worth it? The only surprising thing about it was him doing it there.
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He can't help it. He's young, he's of that Central temperament... Just throw me a bone if my history gets used against me in a trial somehow, okay?
( A real request, or a joke? Hard to say. He moves on.
He was upset with Cain for announcing it before an audience at that time, but it is what it is. In the hierarchy of his troubles, it's rather small - though he maintains concern over how some may suspect him of murder much more easily now. (Not that he's not capable, but, you know. Control of information.)
Regardless, he has an impulse to tease Ish for finding the information equivalent, but - though Hwylryn may not know it - it's because he feels flattered. He's prideful, yes; he sees himself as impressive, as a dragon - but he doesn't think those reasons are why Ish inquired, and so. And so...
But he bites the impulse back. He doesn't really want to make Ish fluster or withdraw, this time around. )
I guess we didn't get to know each other in the previous repetitions. ( "I guess," he says, but, given his feelings during week one... And those feelings may not have fully changed; just grown more complex. ) You could have asked me, too.
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[ he's rather cautious actually, something hwylryn has probably started to pick up on despite his bombastic nature. ]
I know, I know. But there really wasn't anything else he could offer me. I don't make deals just because.
[ a beat and a tilt of his head. ]
Do you want me to ask you and compare the truths?
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( He'll give Ish that he had nothing else he wanted - but that he cared for it enough... Well, maybe he should think of it as - he's glad he's interesting to Ish, too.
As for the truth, he considers this. )
Mmm... Maybe I'm curious if you like his version of me more or less than the version of myself I've shown.
( Hwylryn can present what he likes, but, at the end of the day, he still leaves himself open to interpretation. Much of what he tells other people of himself are rumors - "it's said that..." and "legends say that..."
Maybe because much of himself has been lost to the years, and all he has left is the crevice Gwawlyn has split open in his heart, his love, and these stories people know. )
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[ he smiles. ]
I'd be an idiot to only take him at his word. Everyone tells a story a different way, regardless of their intentions, and knights like him—I'm familiar enough with them, though the one I was most familiar with was considerably more suave.
[ this is a compliment to cain if anything. ]
Either way—everything that you are, and I'm sure I haven't seen all of it: your whimsy, folly, your free spirit, I still don't understand them. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. Something like that, someone like that, really can't be described by someone else. It's something to be witnessed with your own eyes.
There's no way I'd like his version better. It's not complete and it never will be.
[ maybe he is insatiable in one particular way. ]
no subject
- and they are selfish! even if it's to the end that hwylryn suspects, it's selfish! and he knows it and he looks it in the eye because he's selfish, himself! -
and Ish has placed them in this circumstance where he is losing people at a rate that, to him, feels like there's a friend gone every minute, and more will be taken from him soon.
(and does this address all those he'd lost already, but cannot recall? his heart aches for that, too.)
His heart had already shattered, before he'd come - and now he's dragging the sharp edges of himself through routine just to make it to the end, for when he'll be released, and allowed to rest.
It is cruel.
But he has lived too long (maybe too long) to divide this world into things he likes and dislikes. He has all the quizzical confusion of a Northern heart, and all the zest and intrigue of a Western spirit. He has needled at Ish idly until he got caught on a hook, and became curious - something small that began a shift from this is our host, and he is cruel, and he is capricious, and there is nothing to be done about it to this is our host, and he is cruel, and he is these other things, and i wonder why, and i like that i don't know. And in all his years he has pursued interest in others, very rare is it that these people have turned their gaze back to him.
Even if it is only idle curiosity, because he is novel to Ish. Even if Ish may not be the first to meet his gaze. He is the first person like Ish is who has.
And though he is hurt - hurting - he likes that. His heart moves too easily. He cannot help what he likes. Despite his grief, and despite his loss, he is - simple. He likes what he likes, and he is what he is. The only reason he's begun to collapse beneath his own weight is because reality does not allow for it. )
... Then I hope you enjoy what you see, as you watch. ( saying this despite knowing ish is a westie who likes pain and suffering. sighs. (not entirely neg). ) For as long as I stay around.
( ... Because he may die. Will die, surely. Whether by someone's hand, or when he is returned home, to battle...
But such as it is. Even a thousand lifetimes isn't enough to finish knowing another person. He likes the idea of this being something incomplete - without punctuation; a empty pages, meant for continuation. Ones that may never be filled. )
... But I guess I don't mind being an unfinished story for you to puzzle over, either. Please stay alive long enough to remember me.
no subject
[ despite this, he's grinning. ]
You're not boring, Hwylryn. I'm something born from pure emotions, something impure from the start. I watch, but I'm not passive. I'll sit in the audience and then move into the stage.
I'll tell you a secret— [ it is and isn't one, because he's said it before in not so many words, as he tends to do. ]
If I die, I'll just come back. Promise.
[ he says this with all of the weight of the sins he's committed and all of the levity of someone who's thrown away everything he was, until just the bones and a scarred heart were left.
they're still holding hands aren't they? he's aware of that in the moment for a different reason than he usually is, and it is for that one that he squeezes them together, gently. a punctuation not loud, but quiet. ]