calamitish | WEEK 4: ITEM CONFERENCE

…I need it to be the same body—-or fuck, I don’t know, a full recreation with all the same organs and other shit in it? There’s…well, I’ll have to take care of it when I’m not in a time loop. I can’t do it here.

[Her face is serious, her voice quieter than she normally is.]

I already tried to kill for time before. Would I have to do something like that?

[The umbrella tilts slightly, but answers quickly.]

You'll have to ask Ish. Either way, I think it would be either a new contract or a new condition, or something else.

[But that's up to the Witch.]

He said to ask you. Unless his mom would have something that can do what I need, maybe.

If it means giving up something or needing to do some extra breaking to get it...fine. I'm just not gonna let fucking dying take this away from me.

[She's selfish, in that way.]

I know about the bodies. He knows about the magic.

[Division of labor, people. An umbrella-sword can only do so much.]

Remember: this is a negotiation.

Yeah, I know it is. Just trying to figure out what chips I actually have to bargain with. Witches don't look like they'd need money.

I don't! [ helpfully interjecting here. ]

But I am willing to make a trade. Is money all you think you have to offer?

[ it's a genuine question. ]

Not the only thing. Just kind of what I'm used to from business and politics.

What is it that you need to do what I'm asking for? Blood? Time? Promising you my family line?

[ laughing. ]

I'm a Witch, not a demon! But let's see... [ he's gotten enough time from siffrin, so he shifts to more personal things. ]

What kind of business do you run anyway?

Well...it's my dad's business. It's a multimedia conglomerate, mainly news and a chain of theme park resorts. They've dabbled in film too.

My brothers and I were working on starting our own business, before Dad died and we had to take over selling the company to some Swede like he wanted. Well, I'm trying to. I think my brothers got other ideas without telling me.

[She sounds a tiny bit bitter, but really, what does she expect at this rate?]

Do witches get any power from capturing the attention of millions of people through media? Plenty of people both love and hate Waystar Royco. Half expecting picket signs at the funeral.

Emotions aren't a main source of power for me, but they are supplementary to some of my spells.

[ the ones he doesn't need to officially create a contract for. ]

Hmm... so you're saying the company is capable of affecting the emotions of millions of others? That could be useful in the absence of future carnivals.

[ he's not sure if he's retiring for good, but maybe this is something like a sabbatical. ]

Pretty much, yeah. People use the news to influence people all the time. It's basically a giant fucking brainwashing machine more than like, actual news.

Do you have a way I could make you the magical equivalent of a shareholder or like, the shadow CEO behind the boring human CEO? Key you in to whatever you need to sustain your powers in exchange for getting back the exact body of Shiv Roy from before she got sucked into a time loop and stabbed to death.

[ this is the funniest conversation because he has only the vaguest idea of what a tv is, but the premise in general is attractive to him, so he's not sweating the details. ]

I thiiiink I have an idea. But before I officially offer you the contract, I wouldn't have to contribute my time to putting on these shows, right? I could just cash in on the emotions?

Fuck no, we have people for that. Unless you suddenly decide you wanna be a news anchor or make movies sometime in the future.

I'm gonna be too busy for that, but maybe one day if I get bored!

[ he can create a reality tv show where the contestants enter to win a ginormous grand prize by competing in children's games with a twist! but when they get eliminated it's actually for good-yeah, ish can create Squid Game in Shiv's universe why not. ]

Alright, so I'll give you a crystal when we're all said and done with this, and I can use that as a conduit to get the emotions from the company. You'll need to put it somewhere in the building, preferably in a central location. I'm sure you can spin it off as a piece of art!

And in return, I'll retrieve your body for you in the same condition it was when you arrived. Sound good?

That simple? ...I could probably put it in Dad's office like it's a memorial decoration. CEO's office is the center of the whole operation. That work?

That should do. You'll get a visit from me if it doesn't.

And yup! I think you're greatly undervaluing the power of the masses, especially when it comes to base emotions. The carnivals I ran before this had a couple of hundred people as spectators, so this is a huge upgrade for me.

[ an upgrade he'll need if he wants to fulfill all his promises and plans. ]

Do we have a deal?

[ he'll even do this the traditional way, holding out his hand to shake on it. ]

Hey, not complaining. Just shocked there's not a bigger catch.

[And hey, she'll know pretty soon if there is one, so Shiv accepts the hand in a firm shake.]

...

[Oh.

For a woman, you think of certain things first. This is rather private. Even the capybara, the vessel for a woman who doesn't care much about others' privacy when they reveal their things right in front of her nose, looks in the other direction of the ~~warehouse~~ greenhouse.]

WEEK 4: ITEM CONFERENCE

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