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( oh... oh... he beams...??? )
So the happier I make you, the stronger you'll be? The less tired, the more okay?
( He seems really excited by this prospect, because any excuse to shovel more love into his darling is ideal. )
I know you said you don't peer into hearts unasked, but can I open mine to you so I can send you my joy that much more quickly?
So the happier I make you, the stronger you'll be? The less tired, the more okay?
( He seems really excited by this prospect, because any excuse to shovel more love into his darling is ideal. )
I know you said you don't peer into hearts unasked, but can I open mine to you so I can send you my joy that much more quickly?
... We'd have to. Junior'd be looking up to us.
( A weak nuzzle with his cheek to Ish's neck...
How strange it is to be the one who isn't peppering the other wish kisses - how nice it is to be spoiled and coddled. When had he last had this? When had he ever?
He notices he slips the topic of Norna away. He's fortunate Hwylryn doesn't have the energy to pursue the way he normally would. )
... But, I don't know. This spot is perfect. 'm used to it. ( Mirroring Ish. ) ... If you have to work, can't you keep me here as you do it?
( A weak nuzzle with his cheek to Ish's neck...
How strange it is to be the one who isn't peppering the other wish kisses - how nice it is to be spoiled and coddled. When had he last had this? When had he ever?
He notices he slips the topic of Norna away. He's fortunate Hwylryn doesn't have the energy to pursue the way he normally would. )
... But, I don't know. This spot is perfect. 'm used to it. ( Mirroring Ish. ) ... If you have to work, can't you keep me here as you do it?
Edited 2025-04-03 10:23 (UTC)
Right, we do. [ he's not sure if he's capable of setting a good example, but that concern is lost somewhere in the relief he feels with the nuzzle upon his neck. some of the tension in his body loosens with a sigh, freeing up some small space between them that ish closes immediately. he'd happily sit here all day (until his duty calls him) just showering hwylryn with affections until he stirred even a little, but seeing him so lifeless has been difficult. ]
Hmmm... [ yes, he's seriously considering it despite his thoughts to the contrary mere seconds ago. all because hwylryn asked. ]
We can stay like this until I have to physically go somewhere. I'm not putting you in danger. And I'll come back to get you when I'm done.
[ he loosens his grip with one arm only to find hwylryn's hand with his own. simple comforts are what he thinks will help (this one comes bundled with another kiss too), but when he feels the metal on hwylryn's finger he frowns.
up until now, he's never thought much of it. hwylryn likes to accessorize but more than that, hwylryn is hwylryn. he loves his free spirit and his free heart; norna was the same and she had many admirers not even counting her attendants, whom she loved in turn.
but this is different. ish may have bickered with rune near daily over how to best serve her, but he always knew deep down that he had norna's best interests at heart. the last conversation with yoru is fresh in his mind, has been a source of fear for him up until now.
he can't abide by someone who will treat what may as well be his heart like this. even still, it goes against his nature to breach a conversation of this nature, but when he thinks about how hwylryn was the one who asked him to be only his first and was so elated to be asked it back, it solidifies his choice.
maybe this is too soon, but it might be for the better. he'll shift so he can peer down, purple to silver, as his fingers trace around the ring. ]
Hmmm... [ yes, he's seriously considering it despite his thoughts to the contrary mere seconds ago. all because hwylryn asked. ]
We can stay like this until I have to physically go somewhere. I'm not putting you in danger. And I'll come back to get you when I'm done.
[ he loosens his grip with one arm only to find hwylryn's hand with his own. simple comforts are what he thinks will help (this one comes bundled with another kiss too), but when he feels the metal on hwylryn's finger he frowns.
up until now, he's never thought much of it. hwylryn likes to accessorize but more than that, hwylryn is hwylryn. he loves his free spirit and his free heart; norna was the same and she had many admirers not even counting her attendants, whom she loved in turn.
but this is different. ish may have bickered with rune near daily over how to best serve her, but he always knew deep down that he had norna's best interests at heart. the last conversation with yoru is fresh in his mind, has been a source of fear for him up until now.
he can't abide by someone who will treat what may as well be his heart like this. even still, it goes against his nature to breach a conversation of this nature, but when he thinks about how hwylryn was the one who asked him to be only his first and was so elated to be asked it back, it solidifies his choice.
maybe this is too soon, but it might be for the better. he'll shift so he can peer down, purple to silver, as his fingers trace around the ring. ]
[ his eyes pop open. ]
Hwylryn. [ that's tempting, it really is, but he remembers what just a glimpse of it was that night in the hedges.
he thinks if he braced himself, he could handle it. but... ]
What you're giving me is more than enough and...I want to share it with you like this- [ he presses their lips together, deep and
a little hungry.
but he doesn't linger, because this is business talk and he is *professional! (*he is trying to be professional and mostly failing). ]
If you want to do something for me now—let me give you a tarot card. In case you need it or someone else you love, does.
Hwylryn. [ that's tempting, it really is, but he remembers what just a glimpse of it was that night in the hedges.
he thinks if he braced himself, he could handle it. but... ]
What you're giving me is more than enough and...I want to share it with you like this- [ he presses their lips together, deep and
a little hungry.
but he doesn't linger, because this is business talk and he is *professional! (*he is trying to be professional and mostly failing). ]
If you want to do something for me now—let me give you a tarot card. In case you need it or someone else you love, does.
( Ish is trying to be professional, but Hwylryn sure isn't! He's delightedly missing back, deep and lingering - chasing as Ish pulls away, but letting him break it, a little playfully. )
A tarot card? ( oh right the things— ) Does using those help you, too?
A tarot card? ( oh right the things— ) Does using those help you, too?
... I don't mind the danger.
( Probably shouldn't trust a depressed person on that. It's hard to tell if he'd rather be with Ish even through danger, or if, in a depressive way, he's okay with getting hurt (it's both).
Ish's warmth in hand is welcome. Though his reaction is weak, his fingers curl lightly around Ish's own hand - gentle acknowledgment. As Ish pulls his hand around to gaze at Yoru's ring, the weight of the cold metal rushes another cold, painful wave across Hwylryn's heart. Ah, Yoru, Yoru...
He shifts just barely - but movement is an improvement, surely - so he's a little more on his side in Ish's arms, cheek on Ish's shoulder, gazing up at his hand with the ring with Ish.
He can't help but tear up a little more again, where the tears had, for brief while, subsided. )
... Is it possible... for the dead to return, here? ( Tiamat, Siffrin, Caroline... Yoru... ) As themselves, as they were, forever...?
( Not as objects, not just for a day, but... )
( Probably shouldn't trust a depressed person on that. It's hard to tell if he'd rather be with Ish even through danger, or if, in a depressive way, he's okay with getting hurt (it's both).
Ish's warmth in hand is welcome. Though his reaction is weak, his fingers curl lightly around Ish's own hand - gentle acknowledgment. As Ish pulls his hand around to gaze at Yoru's ring, the weight of the cold metal rushes another cold, painful wave across Hwylryn's heart. Ah, Yoru, Yoru...
He shifts just barely - but movement is an improvement, surely - so he's a little more on his side in Ish's arms, cheek on Ish's shoulder, gazing up at his hand with the ring with Ish.
He can't help but tear up a little more again, where the tears had, for brief while, subsided. )
... Is it possible... for the dead to return, here? ( Tiamat, Siffrin, Caroline... Yoru... ) As themselves, as they were, forever...?
( Not as objects, not just for a day, but... )
[ a gentle squeeze. ish minds the danger and here he will, in a rare instance, put down what he wants ahead of hwylryn's. ]
I'm working with Sabo on that. I told him it would take a miracle, but Norna returning would be a greater miracle, so. And I told him I would do my best, and I'm contractually obliged to do that in this case.
[ he believes it.
he drops a few more kisses, hoping to disperse the rain. ]
I'm working with Sabo on that. I told him it would take a miracle, but Norna returning would be a greater miracle, so. And I told him I would do my best, and I'm contractually obliged to do that in this case.
[ he believes it.
he drops a few more kisses, hoping to disperse the rain. ]
[ :MEOWNO: ish suffering in this thread but persevering anyway.
he settles for tracing the outlines of hwylryn's lips carefully with his finger. only for a moment.
FOCUS!!!!
ahem.]
Knowing you have some of my magic with you will help me. Even if you don't use it on yourself.
[ he knows hywlryn's heart is big and he doesn't want to see him physically hurt or emotionally hurt either (wednesday laughs at us).
with a breath: ]
...Contractus Cauda. [ a golden card appears in front of them, semi-transparent.
ish sees it and immediately flushes bright red again, when he was beginning to get ahold of his expression in the last few words. ]
...Do you know what this card is?
he settles for tracing the outlines of hwylryn's lips carefully with his finger. only for a moment.
FOCUS!!!!
ahem.]
Knowing you have some of my magic with you will help me. Even if you don't use it on yourself.
[ he knows hywlryn's heart is big and he doesn't want to see him physically hurt or emotionally hurt either (wednesday laughs at us).
with a breath: ]
...Contractus Cauda. [ a golden card appears in front of them, semi-transparent.
ish sees it and immediately flushes bright red again, when he was beginning to get ahold of his expression in the last few words. ]
...Do you know what this card is?
( ... He wants to kiss Ish back...
The ember of that desire burns faintly, as Ish works love into his bones again. )
... Can I...
( He shouldn't be thinking about this sort of thing right now. He shouldn't, but.
He's the one who put it off, so serves him right that here, in the most final hour, he must ask about it, even though he's not in the best state, even though it hurts. If he hadn't tried to turn his gaze from what he himself had set in motion, he wouldn't even be in this position right now.
He feels so guilty right now, asking Ish to love him, when he has so much of himself that he resents. )
... Can I... make a deal...?
The ember of that desire burns faintly, as Ish works love into his bones again. )
... Can I...
( He shouldn't be thinking about this sort of thing right now. He shouldn't, but.
He's the one who put it off, so serves him right that here, in the most final hour, he must ask about it, even though he's not in the best state, even though it hurts. If he hadn't tried to turn his gaze from what he himself had set in motion, he wouldn't even be in this position right now.
He feels so guilty right now, asking Ish to love him, when he has so much of himself that he resents. )
... Can I... make a deal...?
[ ahh....
regardless of how he feels, first and foremost, he's a witch. ]
What would make a wish for? [ his hold tightens and another kiss follows. ]
regardless of how he feels, first and foremost, he's a witch. ]
What would make a wish for? [ his hold tightens and another kiss follows. ]
( ...
He feels weak. Really weak. But for this, for his two loves, his family... From where his cheek rests against Ish's shoulder, he manages to press his lips lightly to his neck. )
... If Junior is chosen for execution, for punishment, for anything, following the trial... please let me take his place.
I can't... let him feel fear... let him suffer... just because I dragged him into my whims.
( How cruel it is to ask this to Ish, if all people. The faintest smile curls his lips, a little wry. )
... If you're working so hard to return the dead, I know I won't be gone for very long.
He feels weak. Really weak. But for this, for his two loves, his family... From where his cheek rests against Ish's shoulder, he manages to press his lips lightly to his neck. )
... If Junior is chosen for execution, for punishment, for anything, following the trial... please let me take his place.
I can't... let him feel fear... let him suffer... just because I dragged him into my whims.
( How cruel it is to ask this to Ish, if all people. The faintest smile curls his lips, a little wry. )
... If you're working so hard to return the dead, I know I won't be gone for very long.
( His gaze glimmers with delight... his bf is so cute... it's illegal not to get to kiss him every second... hello god...
As the card appears, he's enamored by the gossamer design - and then enamored moreso with Ish's face. He grins, knowing he'll like whatever answer he gets. )
Uh-uh. What is it?
As the card appears, he's enamored by the gossamer design - and then enamored moreso with Ish's face. He grins, knowing he'll like whatever answer he gets. )
Uh-uh. What is it?
[ oh, that really isn't fair in multiple ways.
ish listens, and he's not surprised.
(...) ]
...alright. But in exchange, I'm going to follow my whims. [ my selfishness, my cruelty.
he doesn't ask hwylryn to confirm this is what he wants, because he knows. he seals their words with another kiss, fingers moving to slip the ring from hwylryn's finger. it vanishes in his hand, returned to water lily. ]
I don't ever want to control you, or shackle you. You're beautiful as you are, with your love as boundless as the sea and the sky, and everything in it. But I do want to protect you. [ and above everything else, ish sees this as a hurt ] .
And if you're mine then that is our truth, together.
ish listens, and he's not surprised.
(...) ]
...alright. But in exchange, I'm going to follow my whims. [ my selfishness, my cruelty.
he doesn't ask hwylryn to confirm this is what he wants, because he knows. he seals their words with another kiss, fingers moving to slip the ring from hwylryn's finger. it vanishes in his hand, returned to water lily. ]
I don't ever want to control you, or shackle you. You're beautiful as you are, with your love as boundless as the sea and the sky, and everything in it. But I do want to protect you. [ and above everything else, ish sees this as a hurt ] .
And if you're mine then that is our truth, together.
( Normally, he might be pleased or overjoyed, if dimmed by the cruelty he has asked of Ish - now, he's simply relieved. And this works its way into his lips, pressing them back lightly where Ish kisses him with full commitment.
It takes him a moment to recognize the price through the kiss, and another as they party, and it weighs heavy in his heart... He accepts this. This challenge he had taken upon himself was about choosing which of his darlings to kill, and... this is just that. Isn't it?
Yoru, Yoru, good bye. )
... I am. It is.
( He noses him again, lips pressing light - smearing light - against Ish's lips, somewhere between bestial and human. )
... It won't be easy. I won't make it easy, being as I am.
( His boundless heart that takes in all loves, no matter how much it may pollute or poison him. Perhaps this ring was like that, to Ish.
But... He nuzzles his cheek. )
... Maybe... the first thing we can do when we're free to just be us... is we can go flying, the way we naturally are. ( Dragon, and snake, ) We can take Junior, too... And we can disappear into the horizon.
And I hope... that will make you happy. That it will make you so, so happy, and... that you can feel free, too.
It takes him a moment to recognize the price through the kiss, and another as they party, and it weighs heavy in his heart... He accepts this. This challenge he had taken upon himself was about choosing which of his darlings to kill, and... this is just that. Isn't it?
Yoru, Yoru, good bye. )
... I am. It is.
( He noses him again, lips pressing light - smearing light - against Ish's lips, somewhere between bestial and human. )
... It won't be easy. I won't make it easy, being as I am.
( His boundless heart that takes in all loves, no matter how much it may pollute or poison him. Perhaps this ring was like that, to Ish.
But... He nuzzles his cheek. )
... Maybe... the first thing we can do when we're free to just be us... is we can go flying, the way we naturally are. ( Dragon, and snake, ) We can take Junior, too... And we can disappear into the horizon.
And I hope... that will make you happy. That it will make you so, so happy, and... that you can feel free, too.
[ he had been expecting resistance, but finds loving affections instead. it's draws out a smile of relief and gratitude even if his end of the contract weighs on his heart. he can guess why hwylryn asked and he doesn't want to think about it right now.
hes grown addicted to living in the moment in a different way from his usual. ]
You make me happy. [ so of course he will be, wherever they are, no matter what they're doing. it's a neverending cycle: ish doing something for hwylryn and him returning it twofold. two entities selfish in their giving.
with their entwined hands he traces nonsensical shapes, a mashup of the melody of his heart and his chaos. ]
...I'm better at flying like this, than as a snake. But you'll pull me along, right? [ a mischievous lilt for an answer they already know, along with a kiss that's more smile than lips. ]
hes grown addicted to living in the moment in a different way from his usual. ]
You make me happy. [ so of course he will be, wherever they are, no matter what they're doing. it's a neverending cycle: ish doing something for hwylryn and him returning it twofold. two entities selfish in their giving.
with their entwined hands he traces nonsensical shapes, a mashup of the melody of his heart and his chaos. ]
...I'm better at flying like this, than as a snake. But you'll pull me along, right? [ a mischievous lilt for an answer they already know, along with a kiss that's more smile than lips. ]
Edited 2025-04-03 23:51 (UTC)
It's a Tarot card, the Lovers.
[ yeah sorry endgame is canceled, ish is gonna die. ]
I've been giving out cards every week, but they take me a few days to make. This one...I'm not sure what it'll do yet, but it'll be clear by the weekend.
Just look at it as a piece of my magic you can use when you need it.
[ yeah sorry endgame is canceled, ish is gonna die. ]
I've been giving out cards every week, but they take me a few days to make. This one...I'm not sure what it'll do yet, but it'll be clear by the weekend.
Just look at it as a piece of my magic you can use when you need it.
( Hwylryn's eyes were already bright, but now there's just laughter in his eyes, curling his lips. He's decided it Is, in fact, illegal, to not kiss his bf every second, so he will take the card close, press it against his heart - and Ish's, because he's going to lean in for a kiss. )
Okay. I use it, I'll promise. It must have come straight from the heart, right?
( Hehe... The Lovers...... )
So I'll cherish it as I would your own heart. And I'll employ it like a request for a sweet kiss.
( don't worry about the logistics this is just sincere poetry, unbound from his chest )
Okay. I use it, I'll promise. It must have come straight from the heart, right?
( Hehe... The Lovers...... )
So I'll cherish it as I would your own heart. And I'll employ it like a request for a sweet kiss.
( don't worry about the logistics this is just sincere poetry, unbound from his chest )
Mmmnph— [ he's flustered, so it's not a very good kiss but he leans back anyway. ]
Yeah that's why...it's that. [ sir not explaining that there are a lot of tarot cards, but of course one coming from hwylryn helping him is the blatantly romantic one. ]
My own magic's betraying me.
[ just ignore him, he's huffy but happy. ]
Yeah that's why...it's that. [ sir not explaining that there are a lot of tarot cards, but of course one coming from hwylryn helping him is the blatantly romantic one. ]
My own magic's betraying me.
[ just ignore him, he's huffy but happy. ]
[ a wandering and weaving they go, while ish is distracted. ]
I can't think of something right away like you can. [ he's a turtle when it comes to these things, even if lately he feels like one of the hungry capybara's who got a whiff of a treat, setting off down the racetrack. ]
But if I had to call you something right now, I think—I'd call you, my heart.
I can't think of something right away like you can. [ he's a turtle when it comes to these things, even if lately he feels like one of the hungry capybara's who got a whiff of a treat, setting off down the racetrack. ]
But if I had to call you something right now, I think—I'd call you, my heart.
It's how magic should be— real and raw and free of deceit.
( And Ish, in this way, is much like the wizards and witches he knows - bound by his promises, his contracts; bound by his heart, his love; a slave to that which has created him - his history, his passion.
And Hwylryn loves him for all these things. He is not as Gwawlyn and Balthazar precisely, but he is of them in these ways. And it feels nostalgic; it feels like a sense of home, though Hwylryn has never had a place he could call this.
Maybe home, for him, has always been other people. Fickle as that may be. Silly as it is, like building a house of cards on soft, sunny sands. )
... Thank you, Ish. Always.
( Not just the card, not just for not being upset, but for everything that has been, and will be. And he can't help... but be hopeful for what will come next.
Though he sees the storm that is Thursday coming soon over the horizon, it isn't here yet. )
( And Ish, in this way, is much like the wizards and witches he knows - bound by his promises, his contracts; bound by his heart, his love; a slave to that which has created him - his history, his passion.
And Hwylryn loves him for all these things. He is not as Gwawlyn and Balthazar precisely, but he is of them in these ways. And it feels nostalgic; it feels like a sense of home, though Hwylryn has never had a place he could call this.
Maybe home, for him, has always been other people. Fickle as that may be. Silly as it is, like building a house of cards on soft, sunny sands. )
... Thank you, Ish. Always.
( Not just the card, not just for not being upset, but for everything that has been, and will be. And he can't help... but be hopeful for what will come next.
Though he sees the storm that is Thursday coming soon over the horizon, it isn't here yet. )
( Hwylryn is happy to let them slant off-course, content to fix his gaze on Ish and only Ish and let their legs guide their adventure. But his legs may or may not have inclination toward the fruit trees...
But what Ish says warms him in a way he doesn't expect. He knew, no matter what, he'd love what Ish would give him, because it comes from the heart. But to be given the whole of the thing - to have Ish set him up in his chest and say here you are, you're all of it, the creation and terminal point of my emotion - there's a color in his cheeks he doesn't expect, and he expresses it by leaning up from where he leans in to press a kiss to his cheek.
Where Ish had considered Norna first and foremost in matters of belonging to someone else, Hwylryn considers Gwawlyn first in matters of the heart - Gwawlyn is his, as he had said once, in passing. And perhaps it is weightier to him that Ish gives him this word because Hwylryn associates it with Gwawlyn's gravity. )
If that's the first thing that comes naturally, you've already outdone me. ( Not that it was a competition! (But, playfully, maybe it is,) ) I'd be happy to beat for you. To curl up inside you and live there— I wouldn't need anywhere else.
( He nuzzles his cheek into the crook of Ish's neck, almost as if he's just looking for more ways to slot against him like a puzzle piece. )
... You know, I think it's too bad people don't get to see how sweet you are. Buuuut... ( And he's normally not the possessive type, but, ) ... I also like keeping you to myself, a little bit.
But what Ish says warms him in a way he doesn't expect. He knew, no matter what, he'd love what Ish would give him, because it comes from the heart. But to be given the whole of the thing - to have Ish set him up in his chest and say here you are, you're all of it, the creation and terminal point of my emotion - there's a color in his cheeks he doesn't expect, and he expresses it by leaning up from where he leans in to press a kiss to his cheek.
Where Ish had considered Norna first and foremost in matters of belonging to someone else, Hwylryn considers Gwawlyn first in matters of the heart - Gwawlyn is his, as he had said once, in passing. And perhaps it is weightier to him that Ish gives him this word because Hwylryn associates it with Gwawlyn's gravity. )
If that's the first thing that comes naturally, you've already outdone me. ( Not that it was a competition! (But, playfully, maybe it is,) ) I'd be happy to beat for you. To curl up inside you and live there— I wouldn't need anywhere else.
( He nuzzles his cheek into the crook of Ish's neck, almost as if he's just looking for more ways to slot against him like a puzzle piece. )
... You know, I think it's too bad people don't get to see how sweet you are. Buuuut... ( And he's normally not the possessive type, but, ) ... I also like keeping you to myself, a little bit.
[ oh.
ish was content to leave it at that (as if he hadn't already been greedy in leaving his mark), but hwylryn decides otherwise. what else can he do but accept it? not that it's a forced choice, because ish will always accept what hwylryn gives him, clear water and rushing tempest and everything in between. in a way, perhaps his specialty as an attendant is his nature to take in what's around him, in every meaning of the word.
he shudders. at the heat he can feel from the skin against his neck, at the absolute flood of love that hwylryn has to offer. for a moment, he feels like he's drowning. but then he remembers. he remembers that he was born in something like this, born of emotions that she could no longer bear to keep inside of her.
he breathes and lets it fill his lungs, his eyes, his ears, all of him. the sound is beautiful he thinks, one he could get lost in forever. (he won't. or maybe, he already is). ]
ish was content to leave it at that (as if he hadn't already been greedy in leaving his mark), but hwylryn decides otherwise. what else can he do but accept it? not that it's a forced choice, because ish will always accept what hwylryn gives him, clear water and rushing tempest and everything in between. in a way, perhaps his specialty as an attendant is his nature to take in what's around him, in every meaning of the word.
he shudders. at the heat he can feel from the skin against his neck, at the absolute flood of love that hwylryn has to offer. for a moment, he feels like he's drowning. but then he remembers. he remembers that he was born in something like this, born of emotions that she could no longer bear to keep inside of her.
he breathes and lets it fill his lungs, his eyes, his ears, all of him. the sound is beautiful he thinks, one he could get lost in forever. (he won't. or maybe, he already is). ]
( He feels the shudder, hears how Ish breathes and relaxes into it, and in Hwylryn's waves of excess swims new color: surprise, foremost - then relief; happiness; content; excitement; mischief (always mischief, no matter what). He's too much, and he knows it! He doesn't mind it, on the day to day. But it's always a little sad, a little acrid in his mouth, when the ones he wants love from most can't take what he is in his most natural state. He's not a creature made to contain his emotion.
But Ish doesn't recoil from it, or force himself to endure. Hwylryn hadn't meant to test him, or anything; that would require thinking beyond himself, for a second, and he was thinking a little too much of himself. He wanted Ish to know! And Ish would have to suffer the consequences. But Ish doesn't suffer. He seems to ease into it, he seems like maybe he even enjoys it? And that thought - one he hopes is true - makes his chest bubble like nothing else.
Somewhere, while gauging Ish's reactions, he'd begun to press kisses to his neck (he had gauged those reactions, before - he was just a little distracted, is all). It's when Ish seems lost in the rushing tides of Hwylryn's feelings, heart still in hand, excitement in Hwylryn's chest, does that kissing turn to sucking and teething - affectionate, teeth digging in deeper; not enough to draw blood, but certainly enough to mark. Gnawing, when the feelings in him begin to turn particularly fond. (And, idly, he considers - perhaps he ought to mark Ish, the way Blade had Dan Heng . . . ) )
But Ish doesn't recoil from it, or force himself to endure. Hwylryn hadn't meant to test him, or anything; that would require thinking beyond himself, for a second, and he was thinking a little too much of himself. He wanted Ish to know! And Ish would have to suffer the consequences. But Ish doesn't suffer. He seems to ease into it, he seems like maybe he even enjoys it? And that thought - one he hopes is true - makes his chest bubble like nothing else.
Somewhere, while gauging Ish's reactions, he'd begun to press kisses to his neck (he had gauged those reactions, before - he was just a little distracted, is all). It's when Ish seems lost in the rushing tides of Hwylryn's feelings, heart still in hand, excitement in Hwylryn's chest, does that kissing turn to sucking and teething - affectionate, teeth digging in deeper; not enough to draw blood, but certainly enough to mark. Gnawing, when the feelings in him begin to turn particularly fond. (And, idly, he considers - perhaps he ought to mark Ish, the way Blade had Dan Heng . . . ) )
Of course. Always.
( Struggling though he is, that slips from his lips as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Of course he would. Of course. Even if he feels like melting into sea foam; even if he wants to give up (ah, there it is - that's what he wants) (or, what the worst of his hurt wants, anyway). Despite all these things, he... would still beach himself on shore, if it means being with his love.
His gaze falls vaguely to their hands, as if they were mapping meaning for him. As if they could take them somewhere else, far away from here.
Ish spoils him so much. From each consistent kiss, to his kindness, to his gesture - doting on him while he barely wants to keep form. It really would be so easy to let go.
... )
... When Norna comes back... will you need to spend most of your time with her?
( He says "will you," as if it were a job that Ish knew the schedule of, but really he means - all things going well - Norna doesn't harm him, or die, and all persists as it should - all things return to the way they were - he means, do you want to? and if you have the chance, will you?
He knows Ish maybe hasn't thought this far. And he knows maybe he should just leave their discussions as they are - a happy ending. A they all lived happily ever after.
But grief seeks grief. He's trying so hard to envision this future where he's happy, and make it last for more than a few moments. He wants it to carry him through, especially when... Ish has to return to his work again, and won't be there to hold him and murmur to him like this. )
( Struggling though he is, that slips from his lips as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Of course he would. Of course. Even if he feels like melting into sea foam; even if he wants to give up (ah, there it is - that's what he wants) (or, what the worst of his hurt wants, anyway). Despite all these things, he... would still beach himself on shore, if it means being with his love.
His gaze falls vaguely to their hands, as if they were mapping meaning for him. As if they could take them somewhere else, far away from here.
Ish spoils him so much. From each consistent kiss, to his kindness, to his gesture - doting on him while he barely wants to keep form. It really would be so easy to let go.
... )
... When Norna comes back... will you need to spend most of your time with her?
( He says "will you," as if it were a job that Ish knew the schedule of, but really he means - all things going well - Norna doesn't harm him, or die, and all persists as it should - all things return to the way they were - he means, do you want to? and if you have the chance, will you?
He knows Ish maybe hasn't thought this far. And he knows maybe he should just leave their discussions as they are - a happy ending. A they all lived happily ever after.
But grief seeks grief. He's trying so hard to envision this future where he's happy, and make it last for more than a few moments. He wants it to carry him through, especially when... Ish has to return to his work again, and won't be there to hold him and murmur to him like this. )
Edited 2025-04-04 11:59 (UTC)
[ in the beginning of this truly whirlwind romance, he had moments where he grappled with anxieties: that this was wrong, that this was blasphemous, that he really shouldn't be capable of feelings like this anymore. but he had followed his heart as he's want to do. he'd gotten lost in it, and in some ways he's still lost.
norna, oh norna, the love of his life, his everything.
hwylryn, his heart, his...future(?). he had promised as much and he wants as much, but it's here that he finally decides to actually look at what that means head-on.
he cannot give up either of them and he wonders: is he enough? he's never felt like he's enough, but the gift that hwylryn has given him that norna never could is the ability to feel like maybe he is.
instead of thinking about it any more, he makes the choice to just speak. isn't that what this has all been anyway? riding impulses down and down, into a spiral without an end. ]
I'm her only surviving attendant. [ first and foremost, always. ] But—
[ truthfully, this is the part he's really struggling with. if he was a betting man, he would not give himself good odds on surviving when she awakens. not because she's cruel, but because he knows her best, and he knows she would feel guilt. she would feel the need to correct that wrong, and that wrong is himself, so—
—he skips that part, because there's nothing anyone can do about it. that'll be between just the two of them. the way he squeezes their hands together betrays this fear only briefly. ]
—I don't think so. Actually...I think she might be happy for me. And she might make fun of me for falling in love with a dragon.
norna, oh norna, the love of his life, his everything.
hwylryn, his heart, his...future(?). he had promised as much and he wants as much, but it's here that he finally decides to actually look at what that means head-on.
he cannot give up either of them and he wonders: is he enough? he's never felt like he's enough, but the gift that hwylryn has given him that norna never could is the ability to feel like maybe he is.
instead of thinking about it any more, he makes the choice to just speak. isn't that what this has all been anyway? riding impulses down and down, into a spiral without an end. ]
I'm her only surviving attendant. [ first and foremost, always. ] But—
[ truthfully, this is the part he's really struggling with. if he was a betting man, he would not give himself good odds on surviving when she awakens. not because she's cruel, but because he knows her best, and he knows she would feel guilt. she would feel the need to correct that wrong, and that wrong is himself, so—
—he skips that part, because there's nothing anyone can do about it. that'll be between just the two of them. the way he squeezes their hands together betrays this fear only briefly. ]
—I don't think so. Actually...I think she might be happy for me. And she might make fun of me for falling in love with a dragon.
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