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[ there goes his like, three tag combo of not being a blushing mess. why did you have to say it like that....!!!
though again, he's not complaining. ]
If that's what you want. [ he should have more to say, but any other words die on his tongue at how ridiculously cute hywlryn is being. ]
...but maybe I'll stay in this form, this time.
though again, he's not complaining. ]
If that's what you want. [ he should have more to say, but any other words die on his tongue at how ridiculously cute hywlryn is being. ]
...but maybe I'll stay in this form, this time.
...sure. [ that pause was to consider if he thought it was feasible since this obviously isn't something he's attempted. how could it be when he hasn't sleep in over a thousand years until very recently?
well. hwylryn asked for it, so ish will reply. ]
If we fall, I'll just protect you again. [ he lays back down, settling hwylryn on top of him, arms wrapped around tightly. ]
well. hwylryn asked for it, so ish will reply. ]
If we fall, I'll just protect you again. [ he lays back down, settling hwylryn on top of him, arms wrapped around tightly. ]
I will, because of you.
[ which might be obvious, but he has to say it anyway. it doesn't take him long to drift off at all and for once he doesn't dream of red.
he dreams of blues. ]
[ which might be obvious, but he has to say it anyway. it doesn't take him long to drift off at all and for once he doesn't dream of red.
he dreams of blues. ]
I'll show you.
( Without hesitation. But then—
Oh, that, feels,
His breath shudders, and he swallows a little harder. It's not the pain he can't handle, but maybe it's because he's never had someone so close to his heart - surely not in this literal way, and surely, not even, in metaphor. It's raw and dizzying - in a way he can't explain, something about what Ish says, while his sharp of his nails play his heart like a melody, feels - feels - feels...
He wonders what kind of melody he is. He wonders what sound there is there when his heart must be a hellswater trench and it must swallow all music within. It must be... )
Yes.
( He noses against Ish's neck - a bestial gesture, rather than anything human; something affectionate; something inviting. His heart beats quicker (he wonder how that feels?) in rushing recollection of what Ish has so faithfully promised. Something about hearing it all in review when Ish holds the very core of everything he is, that defines him, feels, )
I don't... want to forget.
( For better or worse, even if he should persist another thousand thousand years. )
( Without hesitation. But then—
Oh, that, feels,
His breath shudders, and he swallows a little harder. It's not the pain he can't handle, but maybe it's because he's never had someone so close to his heart - surely not in this literal way, and surely, not even, in metaphor. It's raw and dizzying - in a way he can't explain, something about what Ish says, while his sharp of his nails play his heart like a melody, feels - feels - feels...
He wonders what kind of melody he is. He wonders what sound there is there when his heart must be a hellswater trench and it must swallow all music within. It must be... )
Yes.
( He noses against Ish's neck - a bestial gesture, rather than anything human; something affectionate; something inviting. His heart beats quicker (he wonder how that feels?) in rushing recollection of what Ish has so faithfully promised. Something about hearing it all in review when Ish holds the very core of everything he is, that defines him, feels, )
I don't... want to forget.
( For better or worse, even if he should persist another thousand thousand years. )
( Dressed up in Mahoyaku East-style garb, still with the hairpiece Ish gifted him (always and of course), Hwylryn had gone to visit Ish as he always does - as is, honestly, a daily occurrence at this point.
He had no particular business with Ish today - or, well, he should, given what he's planning, but... it's scary to think about. It's hard to think about. And he's happy with Ish, so... maybe not right now. Maybe later today. Maybe a different day. (He knows he's running out of time.)
As part of his effort toward happiness, though, he'd asked Ish if they could match outfits (over their usual shared meal-snacks-drinks, brought by Hwylryn, as usual). If Hwylryn were going to be dressed up anyway, why not do it with Ish? (Why not share everything with Ish, really.) And, once they were dressed up and satisfied, he'd asked him out on another date - another walk through the gardens, hand in hand, fingers laced, during an hour no one in particular seemed to be near their circuit.
He's guiding them toward the aisle of flowers and fruit, even though that's a little closer to the castle. He's a dragon on a mission. )
You know, I liked how you looked dress down, but this is also rea~lly . . . ( hehe ) I'm lucky.
( handsome handsome witch )
He had no particular business with Ish today - or, well, he should, given what he's planning, but... it's scary to think about. It's hard to think about. And he's happy with Ish, so... maybe not right now. Maybe later today. Maybe a different day. (He knows he's running out of time.)
As part of his effort toward happiness, though, he'd asked Ish if they could match outfits (over their usual shared meal-snacks-drinks, brought by Hwylryn, as usual). If Hwylryn were going to be dressed up anyway, why not do it with Ish? (Why not share everything with Ish, really.) And, once they were dressed up and satisfied, he'd asked him out on another date - another walk through the gardens, hand in hand, fingers laced, during an hour no one in particular seemed to be near their circuit.
He's guiding them toward the aisle of flowers and fruit, even though that's a little closer to the castle. He's a dragon on a mission. )
You know, I liked how you looked dress down, but this is also rea~lly . . . ( hehe ) I'm lucky.
( handsome handsome witch )
[ as used as he is to prying open hearts and rooting around inside, this is the first time someone has leaned into it. he takes a breath at the contact against his neck, his fingers skipping a beat in their rhythm.
ahh, he has to focus. ]
You won't. [ "you won't, now." not that there was a question before, but this is something like putting an exclamation mark on top of a declaration. he continues, nails tracing the figure of a serpent, simplified. his crest, diluted to the most powerful lines. ]
I'll show you mine too. [ his nails lift, but his hand lingers around the beating heart in the palm of his hand. ]
ahh, he has to focus. ]
You won't. [ "you won't, now." not that there was a question before, but this is something like putting an exclamation mark on top of a declaration. he continues, nails tracing the figure of a serpent, simplified. his crest, diluted to the most powerful lines. ]
I'll show you mine too. [ his nails lift, but his hand lingers around the beating heart in the palm of his hand. ]
[ for now they can both take a breather before things go....well they go, certainly. ish, as is probably evident by now, wouldn't deny hwylyrn most things. certainly not something as simple and earnest as this. even still, the request had made him blush almost as bright as his pocketsquare.
but he's recovered since then! and walking hand in hand is something he's really comfortable with, even before he dove headfirst into the marina trench that has been their relationship. ]
Lucky, and something more than cute? [ his pride still remembers second trial... ]
but he's recovered since then! and walking hand in hand is something he's really comfortable with, even before he dove headfirst into the marina trench that has been their relationship. ]
Lucky, and something more than cute? [ his pride still remembers second trial... ]
[ to the greenhouse they go, back into their own little bubble. he had considered for a moment to take them into the sky, but he wants privacy with everyone outside and mingling.
rather than sit them on the chaise, they float in midair, nestled between the canopy of leaves. ]
We can rest here. What else do you want? [ there's a note of pleading in his voice, he wants, needs, to provide. his own wants are as always, secondary. ]
rather than sit them on the chaise, they float in midair, nestled between the canopy of leaves. ]
We can rest here. What else do you want? [ there's a note of pleading in his voice, he wants, needs, to provide. his own wants are as always, secondary. ]
( Hwylryn is a curled thing against Ish's chest, not so much a person nor is he even a proud dragon, but more a vessel of grief - and the cracks run deeper.
The tears still roll, but they're slower now. He just has his wet face pressed against Ish's chest, fingers loosely curled in. He was so happy that they were matching this morning, and now he's ruining it, oh, oh... )
...
( He tries to process the words through the rushing tides, but it's hard. (At least he has his head above water, now; at least he can hear him. That's a plus. That's an improvement.)
He doesn't know what he wants. He wants Yoru... is back the right word? Maybe not. He wants it so that Yoru never died. That's one thing. He wants to not feel this pain. That's another. He wants to lay his head down for a long, long time - that's another.
Somewhere in that roar there is this intrusive thought - Could you just remove my heart? Set aside my feelings for me? Just for awhile. (Just for forever.) But what difference is there from this than death? And then - how different would this be than what Gwawlyn did, what Balthazar did, what Yoru, now, has done, to him - to rush blindly, gladly, into death, without giving him a thought, about what he'd now have to carry?
He had nearly done it to Mithra and Akira. He was about to, if Ish had not plucked him from it, minutes from completion. Yes - he is not so different from his loved ones after all. But this is not Mithra and Akira - this would be harming Ish and Junior.
Is this what he wants? (Ish's question echoes.)
He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows... he doesn't want to do that.
So he just has to carry this pain? That's too hard. Ah... )
... Why... did he...?
( He needs to, probably, get away from this topic. He needs to pull himself out of the whirlpool of grief that this is. But he can't - at least, not yet. Knowing why wouldn't change it, but he can't help but wonder, he can't help but ask—
Even though it's senseless. Even though it's no different, in the end, than why a storm flooded away a village; why someone's father, mother, brother, was lost to sea. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change. The meaning will be gone, in time. But why? Why? Why? )
The tears still roll, but they're slower now. He just has his wet face pressed against Ish's chest, fingers loosely curled in. He was so happy that they were matching this morning, and now he's ruining it, oh, oh... )
...
( He tries to process the words through the rushing tides, but it's hard. (At least he has his head above water, now; at least he can hear him. That's a plus. That's an improvement.)
He doesn't know what he wants. He wants Yoru... is back the right word? Maybe not. He wants it so that Yoru never died. That's one thing. He wants to not feel this pain. That's another. He wants to lay his head down for a long, long time - that's another.
Somewhere in that roar there is this intrusive thought - Could you just remove my heart? Set aside my feelings for me? Just for awhile. (Just for forever.) But what difference is there from this than death? And then - how different would this be than what Gwawlyn did, what Balthazar did, what Yoru, now, has done, to him - to rush blindly, gladly, into death, without giving him a thought, about what he'd now have to carry?
He had nearly done it to Mithra and Akira. He was about to, if Ish had not plucked him from it, minutes from completion. Yes - he is not so different from his loved ones after all. But this is not Mithra and Akira - this would be harming Ish and Junior.
Is this what he wants? (Ish's question echoes.)
He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows... he doesn't want to do that.
So he just has to carry this pain? That's too hard. Ah... )
... Why... did he...?
( He needs to, probably, get away from this topic. He needs to pull himself out of the whirlpool of grief that this is. But he can't - at least, not yet. Knowing why wouldn't change it, but he can't help but wonder, he can't help but ask—
Even though it's senseless. Even though it's no different, in the end, than why a storm flooded away a village; why someone's father, mother, brother, was lost to sea. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change. The meaning will be gone, in time. But why? Why? Why? )
[ slowly he'll start to drop kisses, raindrops of his own in this storm. they're slow deliberate affections, let him cover these tears with his lips, let him replace this grief with warmth even if only for a moment.
he has thoughts on the why, but they're bitter, acrid, close to a spark in his throat. that wouldn't help he thinks, so he'll swallow them again. ]
If you want, I can tell you what I think. [ he repeats. ]
I'd rather soothe you than indulge your curiosity. But if that's what it'll take I'll do it, as long as you don't leave.
I'd chase you, but I'd rather keep you here as you are.
[ it's rare for him to express wants like this when it comes to them, but he can't help himself. his heart hurts too for an entirely different reason. ]
he has thoughts on the why, but they're bitter, acrid, close to a spark in his throat. that wouldn't help he thinks, so he'll swallow them again. ]
If you want, I can tell you what I think. [ he repeats. ]
I'd rather soothe you than indulge your curiosity. But if that's what it'll take I'll do it, as long as you don't leave.
I'd chase you, but I'd rather keep you here as you are.
[ it's rare for him to express wants like this when it comes to them, but he can't help himself. his heart hurts too for an entirely different reason. ]
( Every press of his lips is a little bloom of sunlight against his skin, hard as it is to feel it and see it right now.
He had asked meaninglessly, blindly, dumbly - he doesn't know if he really wants it. He doesn't know if that's really what he wants - he's just grasping for anything, the way a drowning man would. He just... )
... I won't leave...
( He speaks genuinely, but weakly, unlike the joyful certainty he usually proclaims this with. He feels weak; he hates it. He knew the finale of his attempt toward growth would be hard, but not this hard. Ah, but that is his own hubris, that is his own fault. )
... I want to be with you.
( He falls quiet, and slowly his body does not so much relax as it seems to come loose - dissolving into deadweight in Ish's arms.
But he shifts. That's something. That's a sign of life. He shifts... and he weakly rings his arms around Ish's shoulders, face pressed to the crook of his neck - holding onto his lifeline instead of simply hanging from it, waiting for it to snap beneath his weight. )
... I want to know... what futures you've thought about... with us.
( He remembers, his memory a little murky, Ish had begun to say something, before Hwylryn startled him. He remembers he wanted to hear it. He does remember it is a want he has had, and has retained. Maybe that's something. )
He had asked meaninglessly, blindly, dumbly - he doesn't know if he really wants it. He doesn't know if that's really what he wants - he's just grasping for anything, the way a drowning man would. He just... )
... I won't leave...
( He speaks genuinely, but weakly, unlike the joyful certainty he usually proclaims this with. He feels weak; he hates it. He knew the finale of his attempt toward growth would be hard, but not this hard. Ah, but that is his own hubris, that is his own fault. )
... I want to be with you.
( He falls quiet, and slowly his body does not so much relax as it seems to come loose - dissolving into deadweight in Ish's arms.
But he shifts. That's something. That's a sign of life. He shifts... and he weakly rings his arms around Ish's shoulders, face pressed to the crook of his neck - holding onto his lifeline instead of simply hanging from it, waiting for it to snap beneath his weight. )
... I want to know... what futures you've thought about... with us.
( He remembers, his memory a little murky, Ish had begun to say something, before Hwylryn startled him. He remembers he wanted to hear it. He does remember it is a want he has had, and has retained. Maybe that's something. )
Alright. [ he pauses, just to ensure that hwylryn is tucked against him, as close as he can be from anything or anyone outside their bubble. he's getting used to the weight of him here, and it makes his heart beat faster in something resembling fear.
time ticks onward and there are only a few days left before the wheel starts turning again. when he gave into his feelings a little over a week ago now (has it really been that short? that long?) he knew he would need to deal with the future eventually.
this is a good exercise then, for the both of them. ]
I want to go to the beach at sunset and sunrise. We can walk along the shore, following the sun and the moon into the waves and then the sea.
You might need to teach me how to swim faster so I can keep up with you. [ kiss. ]
I want to go out on the streets of some city, when the vendors are hawking their wares and the din of the crowd is too loud, and buy whatever catches your eye. [ kiss. ]
I want to sleep with you, without an alarm. [ another kiss. he might sleep too long, but in this future, time has no hold on them. ]
time ticks onward and there are only a few days left before the wheel starts turning again. when he gave into his feelings a little over a week ago now (has it really been that short? that long?) he knew he would need to deal with the future eventually.
this is a good exercise then, for the both of them. ]
I want to go to the beach at sunset and sunrise. We can walk along the shore, following the sun and the moon into the waves and then the sea.
You might need to teach me how to swim faster so I can keep up with you. [ kiss. ]
I want to go out on the streets of some city, when the vendors are hawking their wares and the din of the crowd is too loud, and buy whatever catches your eye. [ kiss. ]
I want to sleep with you, without an alarm. [ another kiss. he might sleep too long, but in this future, time has no hold on them. ]
( Ah... He lets these words sink into him like raindrops, like kisses, like flecks of light. Little by little, heating his sea-drenched body, igniting faint, wispy embers of his imagination, appealing to his slow-beating heart. )
... That sounds fun.
( Eyes shut, he tries to imagine these futures in vague shapes - tries not to imagine the weight that weighs him down now, dragging his steps then. Tries not to think about all this death he has to carry. Waking up on Monday with grief is bad enough; facing his fears Tuesday and the flurry of questions he had of the dead visiting again was overwhelming; and this, now...
In his quiet, he tries to live these futures in his mind - futures where it doesn't feel so hard to breathe. )
We can put a little den on the shore. ( By den, he means house, but ) It'll be by a city with all these things. And...
( ...
He trails off for awhile.
Vaguely: )
... But I don't hate this place, either... this kind of place. Away from everything...
( ... )
... Sorry. I'm... really terrible. I asked you for a future together, but I don't know how to be anywhere...
( He says "to be anywhere," but the way he says it sounds like "I don't know how to live," to keep living, despite the pain that comes with it - to carry on with these beautiful futures he wants, he wants, he really, really does, but - Balthazar had dissolved as Yoru did. And if Ish were to dissolve, if Junior were...
It's hard not to think these things. It's hard not to be scared. )
... That sounds fun.
( Eyes shut, he tries to imagine these futures in vague shapes - tries not to imagine the weight that weighs him down now, dragging his steps then. Tries not to think about all this death he has to carry. Waking up on Monday with grief is bad enough; facing his fears Tuesday and the flurry of questions he had of the dead visiting again was overwhelming; and this, now...
In his quiet, he tries to live these futures in his mind - futures where it doesn't feel so hard to breathe. )
We can put a little den on the shore. ( By den, he means house, but ) It'll be by a city with all these things. And...
( ...
He trails off for awhile.
Vaguely: )
... But I don't hate this place, either... this kind of place. Away from everything...
( ... )
... Sorry. I'm... really terrible. I asked you for a future together, but I don't know how to be anywhere...
( He says "to be anywhere," but the way he says it sounds like "I don't know how to live," to keep living, despite the pain that comes with it - to carry on with these beautiful futures he wants, he wants, he really, really does, but - Balthazar had dissolved as Yoru did. And if Ish were to dissolve, if Junior were...
It's hard not to think these things. It's hard not to be scared. )
It'll need a big backyard. [ he's scared too. ]
Hwylyrn, do you think I know any better? I've spent all of my years, minus the seventy of my childhood and the three hundred or so where I slept, focused on one thing. I'm close to it, closer than I've ever been. I don't know what will happen when I meet Norna again, and I was prepared for anything.
[ "was". ]
I would have been just as happy if she forgave me for everything I've done, then if she decided to erase every last piece of my existence.
But now, I want a future with you. We'll figure it out together, even if the first couple hundred years of that together is sleeping in a cave, away from everyone and everything else, just off the seashore.
[ ...! he remembers then that junior can't just. SLEEP FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS. ]
Well, maybe a little bit shorter than that. But if the three of us want to go everywhere or nowhere at all? We can do that too. Time always moves forward, and we can use that if nothing else.
And I'm not going anywhere. I'll tell you that every sunrise and every sunset, that I'm yours.
Hwylyrn, do you think I know any better? I've spent all of my years, minus the seventy of my childhood and the three hundred or so where I slept, focused on one thing. I'm close to it, closer than I've ever been. I don't know what will happen when I meet Norna again, and I was prepared for anything.
[ "was". ]
I would have been just as happy if she forgave me for everything I've done, then if she decided to erase every last piece of my existence.
But now, I want a future with you. We'll figure it out together, even if the first couple hundred years of that together is sleeping in a cave, away from everyone and everything else, just off the seashore.
[ ...! he remembers then that junior can't just. SLEEP FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS. ]
Well, maybe a little bit shorter than that. But if the three of us want to go everywhere or nowhere at all? We can do that too. Time always moves forward, and we can use that if nothing else.
And I'm not going anywhere. I'll tell you that every sunrise and every sunset, that I'm yours.
Edited 2025-04-03 02:46 (UTC)
All of those. But maybe a little louder.
[ he's getting stronger... though tellingly, he squeezes their hands together, happy. ]
[ he's getting stronger... though tellingly, he squeezes their hands together, happy. ]
( Ah... That Ish asserts what he does, and carries on, rouses him from his mired thoughts - and he listens, best he can.
He feels the warmth bubbling in his chest, again. It's familiar. It's how Ish makes him feel. It's... wonderful. Maybe moreso in all this cold.
Quiet: )
... That's going to be... a lot of times.
( For thousands and thousands of years... if they live on... as scary as that feels - to live that much more. But if he does... if they do... if all of them do, together, then
It would be a lot of times to say it.
It would be... wonderful, every single time.
He swallows, lifting his head - just by a few centimetres. It feels too heavy to lift. Leaves brush against his hair, and he doesn't see much. But. )
... I won't let her erase you.
( It's not a threat, or a promise. It's - chanted softly, as if it were a spell. A plea to the universe to shift its weave - to make room for this truth, and supply for it.
Please don't take Ish away. )
... I... ( his voice is wet. it's hard to say. it's scary to admit, even to himself. ) ... I want to learn how to live... with you, and Junior.
( After so many thousands of years, they're a little late. But Junior's still on time. And the three of them... maybe, could figure out something, together. Maybe, maybe, maybe... )
He feels the warmth bubbling in his chest, again. It's familiar. It's how Ish makes him feel. It's... wonderful. Maybe moreso in all this cold.
Quiet: )
... That's going to be... a lot of times.
( For thousands and thousands of years... if they live on... as scary as that feels - to live that much more. But if he does... if they do... if all of them do, together, then
It would be a lot of times to say it.
It would be... wonderful, every single time.
He swallows, lifting his head - just by a few centimetres. It feels too heavy to lift. Leaves brush against his hair, and he doesn't see much. But. )
... I won't let her erase you.
( It's not a threat, or a promise. It's - chanted softly, as if it were a spell. A plea to the universe to shift its weave - to make room for this truth, and supply for it.
Please don't take Ish away. )
... I... ( his voice is wet. it's hard to say. it's scary to admit, even to himself. ) ... I want to learn how to live... with you, and Junior.
( After so many thousands of years, they're a little late. But Junior's still on time. And the three of them... maybe, could figure out something, together. Maybe, maybe, maybe... )
Then you'll have to get used to it. Just like I'm used to you here. [ here against his chest, here against his lips (a kiss now too of course), here with his fingers slowly threading through silver. ]
Me too. I'm sure we'd get good at it, eventually. [ his natural inclination is towards optimism, though he doesn't let it see the light of day most of the time. but here, between the two of them, it's okay.
he can't muster up the energy to address norna, but he wants to believe that too.
"... Then don't count on me to go anywhere." ]
Me too. I'm sure we'd get good at it, eventually. [ his natural inclination is towards optimism, though he doesn't let it see the light of day most of the time. but here, between the two of them, it's okay.
he can't muster up the energy to address norna, but he wants to believe that too.
"... Then don't count on me to go anywhere." ]
Edited 2025-04-03 04:42 (UTC)
Handsome~! Stunning~! A heart-stopper~!
( He calls out silly into the gardens, without shame. There's a swing in his step as he leans against Ish as they go, wrapping the arm of the hand he's holding with his, like an old-timey couple. )
That's my paramour, my sweetheart, my duet ♫ Just as stunning as the day we met ♫
( yeah he's singin it, but the song is not so loud - just for them, in a sense )
( He calls out silly into the gardens, without shame. There's a swing in his step as he leans against Ish as they go, wrapping the arm of the hand he's holding with his, like an old-timey couple. )
That's my paramour, my sweetheart, my duet ♫ Just as stunning as the day we met ♫
( yeah he's singin it, but the song is not so loud - just for them, in a sense )
Heyyyyy! [ this is not an objection to everyone else hearing (it should be), but because all of that goes straight to his heart. hwylryn can enjoy the bright contrast of red and purples that he's so rightly earned. ]
If you have all those names for me, I should call you something...
If you have all those names for me, I should call you something...
( The delicate incision into his heart marks him, fire in its wake. It hurts, it feels strange, it feels sharp, but - he doesn't hate it. He doesn't hate it, feeling what it is, feeling like - more than just a crest, the snake curled up within it; it's like Ish is coiled up around his heart, keeping him company there.
How long has his heart been so lonely, until now?
His cheeks burn hot. )
... Please.
( He wants to say something else, but he doesn't know the words for it. Ish holds his heart, but there's more he wants to express. There's more he wants Ish to know - about how he makes him feel; about how this makes him feel. He wants Ish to know how much this feeling exists as something overwhelming, something wonderful he's never had, in his heart. He wants Ish to hold it; he wants Ish to know it.
And so, Hwylryn answers this desire by opening passage to the sea:
His emotion comes in excess from the start. It's ocean rushing through a cracked hull; it's something that grips from the inside out and pulls its victims back into cool and sweet and roiling seas, the water rushing through the ears like a song, the bubbles like laughter, and the sunlight disappears into the dark.
It's something that's never meant to be overwhelming, but it just is - how long has it been building, now? When he was born, they didn't even have numbers that went as high as he'd need them to go. He'd been stockpiling since then. This love is not all for Ish, solely for Ish, but its tangled up in there, without beginning and end, like blood in the water - and so this is why he cannot just show him one part. Where he has love for other things, other people, there exists his love for Ish, too.
He has to let him feel that everything, and hope that somewhere in there Ish can find what's meant for him, and hope that as the waves passes across him, that maybe it feels nice, and maybe - Ish can tell him what that song sounds like, because, to Hwylryn, all his heart sounds like is drowning. )
How long has his heart been so lonely, until now?
His cheeks burn hot. )
... Please.
( He wants to say something else, but he doesn't know the words for it. Ish holds his heart, but there's more he wants to express. There's more he wants Ish to know - about how he makes him feel; about how this makes him feel. He wants Ish to know how much this feeling exists as something overwhelming, something wonderful he's never had, in his heart. He wants Ish to hold it; he wants Ish to know it.
And so, Hwylryn answers this desire by opening passage to the sea:
His emotion comes in excess from the start. It's ocean rushing through a cracked hull; it's something that grips from the inside out and pulls its victims back into cool and sweet and roiling seas, the water rushing through the ears like a song, the bubbles like laughter, and the sunlight disappears into the dark.
It's something that's never meant to be overwhelming, but it just is - how long has it been building, now? When he was born, they didn't even have numbers that went as high as he'd need them to go. He'd been stockpiling since then. This love is not all for Ish, solely for Ish, but its tangled up in there, without beginning and end, like blood in the water - and so this is why he cannot just show him one part. Where he has love for other things, other people, there exists his love for Ish, too.
He has to let him feel that everything, and hope that somewhere in there Ish can find what's meant for him, and hope that as the waves passes across him, that maybe it feels nice, and maybe - Ish can tell him what that song sounds like, because, to Hwylryn, all his heart sounds like is drowning. )
( He can't help it, he loves it when he gets a heyyy out of Ish... hehe ((very happy)) )
Oh, yeah? ( PERKING UP, swingin his weight against ish, causing them to veer slightly off course until the right themselves back onto the path, ) What do you think of when you see me, my peach-cheeked inamorato?
Oh, yeah? ( PERKING UP, swingin his weight against ish, causing them to veer slightly off course until the right themselves back onto the path, ) What do you think of when you see me, my peach-cheeked inamorato?
[ out of all the responses he could have, he blushes. ]
You're already doing it. My magic is mainly contractual, but emotions play into it too. [ maybe the ask here is simply, keep feeding his heart. ]
You're already doing it. My magic is mainly contractual, but emotions play into it too. [ maybe the ask here is simply, keep feeding his heart. ]
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